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Men Vs. Women Jokes

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

by (few years ago!) / 813 views
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Computer jokes

Got this email from a friend: CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered: "Thou shall not kill."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows?A: It took her six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " Id like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowds laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass!! As the crowd cheered, the bartend er paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The scrawny little man replied "I work for the IRS."

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes

At a Catholic school, there was a "meet the teacher" open house for the 2nd graders. After the meeting, a Nun announced that there would be a small reception afterwards in the cafeteria. All the children and parents filed in, and saw on a table a plate of apples, a plate of cookies, and some water bottles and juice. As the children went through the line, one boy saw that there was a sign on the plate of apples that said, "Take only one. God is watching." So, the boy took an apple and moved on to the cookies. He helped himself, and then took a small piece of paper, and wrote: "Take all you want”. God is watching the apples."


by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

Little Mikey is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Little Mikey to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Mikey didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, said, "Why? Mikey, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven."

Mikey thinks that's really neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Little Mikey's dad comes home from work a few hours early. Mikey runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!"

His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?"

"Uncle Bob is blowing up Mommy's balloons and she's screaming, 'Oh God, I'm coming'."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Young Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem, the computer guy, over to her desk. Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?"And he replied, "It was an ID ten T error."A puzzled expression ran riot over Judys face. "An ID ten T error? Whats that ... in case I need to fix it again??"He gave her a grin... ;-)"Havent you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?""No," replied Judy."Write it down," he said, "and I think youll figure it out."(She wrote...)I D 1 0 T

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns dont talk.

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dads way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitchers mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah? Well, my dad can shoot an arrow from his bow and run to the target and hold it up to make sure the arrow hits the bulls eye!" The last boy said, "Your dads dont even come close to being faster than mine. My dad works for the government, and even though he works every day until 4:00 he gets home at 3:30!"

by (few years ago!)
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