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Men Vs. Women Jokes

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

by (few years ago!) / 797 views
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Blonde jokes

What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?A: Double-dumb.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

"And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh?" the priest asked at confession. "I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence," said Kavanaugh. "Im goin after the rest of it tonight!"

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Computer jokes

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 4

A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on.
The woman reporter shouted out "A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!". Then the red-head leans over to the blonde and whispers, "I bet you $50 that the man's gonna jump!" The blonde responds back "That's a bet you have there!".
So, both of the woman stared at the news waiting to know whats gonna happen. Then, the man jumps! The blonde turns around to the red-head and hands her the $50. The red-head feeling guilty said "I cant take that there money. I saw the news earlier this mornin', I knew he was gonna jump off that there cliff."
And the blonde says "Well, I did too! But I never would have thought that the man would do it again!"

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?Because she never marries the best man.

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

Two male computer science students met on campus one day. The first student called out to the other, "Hey. Nice bike! Where did you get it?"

by (few years ago!)
THE MAGICAL DANCING DUCK

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some negotiations, they settled on a figure of $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

by (few years ago!)
Driving home very drunk

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.

The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was.

"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.

"And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.

"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.

"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.

Inside the garage was the state troopers car.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Bunny and Bob, two frequent users of a chat room, discovered that they had a lot in common. Eventually, they abandoned the chat room for a more intimate correspondence.

After months of virtual kinky-ness, the two decided to meet each other face-to-face at a small cafe. Bunny arrived a little late.

One customer, a short, frail man with an eye patch, sat at the back of the cafe. "Are you Bob?" asked Bunny. "Yes I am," said Bob.

"Unbelievable!" Bunny exclaimed. "You told me that you were tall, dark and handsome."

"How do you think I feel?" Bob asked, his face turning red. "You told me that you were skinny, blonde, and female."

by (few years ago!)
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