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VIEWING THE PAINTING


A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

by (few years ago!) / 648 views
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STOPPING BY THE OFFICE ONE DAY


Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

by (few years ago!)
A Liberal and a Genie

A liberal came upon a genie and said, “You’re a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?” The genie replied, “Yes, but only if you’re feeling generous enough to share your good fortune.” The liberal said, “I’m a liberal. I’m always happy to share.” The genie said, “O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I’ll give every conservative in the country two of it. What’s your first wish?” “I would like a new sports car.” “O.K., you’ve got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What’s your second wish?” “I’d like a million dollars.” “O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What’s your third and final wish?” “Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney.”

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What can save a dying blonde?A: Hair transplants.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.I dyed my hair !

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At herwedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. Noneof the other women in the office even noticed.Finally, in sheer and total exasperation, she said "Boy !!! Its sowarm in here today, I think Ill take off my ring."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What kind of dog always needs a shave A bearded collie!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?A. To see what was on the other side

by (few years ago!)
Women Jokes

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

"You're running around with other women," she charged.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What did the dog use to make his kite Fly paper.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The cars occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?"I know," said the Branch Manager, "Lets have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.""No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. Ive got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time a t all I can strip down the cars braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.""Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."

by (few years ago!)
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