Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

THE BAD NEWS AND THE REALLY BAD NEWS


A presidential staff advisor walks into the daily meeting a little late and notices that everyone has a glum look on their face, some even look a little frightened and Clinton isn't in the room.

"What's the matter" he asked

"Well, we had some bad news, and just got some even worse news"

"What's the bad news?"

"India has detonated some atomic weapons at their underground test site; Pakistan has done the same at their proving area; and China is warning them both that this could lead to regional war, that may go nuclear."

"Oh my God, what could be worse than that?"

"Well, Bill just got hold of some Viagra"

by (few years ago!) / 493 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Blonde jokes

What is a brunette between two blondes?A. An interpreter.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Tech Support: "Which format are the images you send?" Customer: "Rectangular, 15x11 centimeters."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, Ive lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Animals - 3

A giant panda went into a cafe and ordered a cheeseburger. It sat there quietly eating the cheeseburger, then it got up, took out a gun, shot the waiter, and walked outside.
"Did you see that?" exclaimed a customer. "Why did he do that?" he asked the manager. The manager looked up from the book he was leafing through. "I'm looking it up in the dictionary," he replied. "It says here: "Panda, eats shoots and leaves."

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction, but thats about it.

by (few years ago!)
TRUMP JR.: 'DEATH THREAT WEDDING SPEECH WAS A JOKE'

LATEST: IVANA TRUMP's son was joking when he threatened to kill his mother's new husband ROSSANO RUBICONDI at their wedding last month (12Apr08).
Donald Trump Jr. handed over his mother to her Italian toyboy with a chilling warning for the 35-year-old groom.
He remarked in front of the wedding's 500 guests: "We are a construction company and we have job sites, we lose people. You better treat her right, because I have a .45 and a shovel." And though Trump Jr. admits he has spoken to the groom "man to man" about an incident when his mother called police to remove Rubicondi from her home earlier this year (17Mar08), he insists the speech was all in good fun.
He says, "Rossano's always been straight up with me. If he treats her with respect, that's all you can ask." The couple wed in a lavish ceremony at the Palm Beach, Florida estate of Trump's ex-husband, property mogul Donald.

by (few years ago!)
THE HR E-MAIL

Attention: Human Resources

Joe Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Joe works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Joe never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Joe takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Joe is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Joe can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Joe be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Regards,
Project Leader

e-mail two
Attention: Human Resources

Joe Smith was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines [1, 3, 5, etc.] for my true assessment of his ability.
Regards,
Project Leader


by (few years ago!)
A MANAGER'S DILEMA

An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the next morning.

Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.

Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he'd wait & see who would leave work the earliest and both employees stayed after closing.

Jill finally went to the coat rack & the manager went up to her & said,
"Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off."

Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus."


by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?A: (Ill tell you tomorrow.)

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neigbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopoed beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog. "You mean the one following your car?" they asked

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Blonde jokes

Pain Killers

Dog jokes

Blonde jokes

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context