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Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was onvacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blondeshouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.

Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

by (few years ago!) / 857 views
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Similar Jokes

ON A LONG JOURNEY


A catholic priest and a rabbi find them sitting next to each other on a long journey, and so after some hesitation start to talk to each other. After discussing the weather and the cricket, the priest turns to the rabbi and says that he thought it was rather strange that he was not allowed to eat pork, and asked him whether he ever had.

The rabbi replied, "Well, when I was a small boy, I did in fact taste a small piece of bacon."

"What was it like?" asked the priest.

The rabbi replied: "Not nearly as good as sex."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?A. A rebel without a clue!

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Blonde jokes

How do you confuse a blonde?A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

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Blonde jokes

What is a brunette between two blondes?A. An interpreter.

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Ladies First

journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years
before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked
about 10 feet behind their husbands.


She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now
walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the
women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist.
"What enabled the women to achieve this reversal of roles? Replied the
Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 4

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to see her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letters spell?
Blonde: It said "Pull"

by (few years ago!)
Stuttering Problem

A guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."

The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."

The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

The doc says,"It's your penis. It's about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."

The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"

The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."

The guy says, "Dddo it!"

The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Thanks Doc. You've solved my problem and I don't stutter any more but I've only had sex once in the past month. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more. I cannot satisfy her. She liked my long penis. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back one!"

The doc replies, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 6

A man had a wife who was a terrible cook - she just served frozen food day after day. Eventually the husband went to his doctor and explained his problem. 'And what's the trouble?' asked the doctor. 'Ulcers?' 'No, frostbite.'

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes

A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day of birth drew near and the girl overheard arrangements being made for her mother to go to the hospital. She looked at her mother with great puzzlement and said,
“Mom, I don’t understand. If they’re going to deliver the baby, why do you have to go to the hospital?”

by (few years ago!)
Women Jokes

woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck

by (few years ago!)
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