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Computer jokes

Whats the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive!

by (few years ago!) / 529 views
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computer jokes

Millions of Americans welcomed the Labor Day holiday.
It's the one day of the year when they can escape
the grueling drudgery of surfing the Internet at work.




I haven't lost my mind.
It's backed up on a disk somewhere . . .




Not tonight dear, I have a modem!




Voice on telephone to man seated at his computer:
Thank you for calling the tech support hotline.
If your computer becomes obsolete while you're holding,
press 1 to reach our sales department.


by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

A man is walking down the street when he hears a voice, "Pssst you come over here!" He looks round and can see no one but an old mangy greyhound. "yes over here!" Said the greyhound "Look at me Im tied up here, I should be racing I won 14 races in my carrer you know?" The man thought to himself "Oh my god a talking dog, I have to have it, it will make me rich, tv appearances cabaret bookings" So he goes in search of the owner.He found the owner and said "Id like to buy your dog, is he for sale??" The owner says "No mate you dont want that old moth eaten thing!" "But I do!" Insisted the man "Illl give you 1000 pounds for him. "Ok said the owner but I think your making a big mistake!" Handing over the money the man said "Why do you think that?" The man replied "Because that dogs a bloody liar its never won a race in its life!"

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. Its distracting!"Caddy: "This isnt a watch, sir, its a compass!"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What do you say to a dog before he eats A Bone appetite

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." She swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says," I want a beer." So after he drank his beer he was about to leave then he noticed that his horse was gone.He shouted," if i dont get my horse back after this beer i am gonna have to do what i did in Georgia. So he finished his beer and he saw his horse was back so he got on and rode a little, then the bartender asked out the window what did you have in Georgia? i had to walk home.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Education

Teacher: Billy, why have you not given me your homework?
Billy: I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it.

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

A lady and her dog were enjoying a lovely stroll in the park. All of a sudden, her dog was mounted from behind by a large Rotweiler. The Rottie was really humping away and the lady was frantically trying to break them up, to no avail.

A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rot's butt and the action immediately stopped.

The lady was amazed. "How did you do that?" she asked.

The little boy said, "That's my dog and he certainly can dish it out, but he sure can't take it."

by (few years ago!)
THE MAGICAL DANCING DUCK

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some negotiations, they settled on a figure of $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had?A: A mandate to govern.

by (few years ago!)
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