Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Computer jokes

Dear God: Yesterday was an awful day for me...My husband ran off with his secretary,My son pierced his eyebrow,My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head,My dog mated with the neighbors cat,My neighbor sold her house to a mental institution,My Mom told me I was adopted,My Dad told me hes gay,My boss told me I was laid off,My sister was arrested for prostitution,My house has termites,My car was stolen,All that came in the mail was bills,A plane, crash landed on my garage,OJ Simpson came to my door selling rug cleaner,And my TV blew.Lord, please be with me today. I was able to live through all that misery yesterday. And I will be able to make it through anything today! But please....DONT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO MY COMPUTER!!!!!AMENA programmer enters an elevator, wanting to go to the 12th floor.So, he pushes 1, then he pushes 2, and starts looking for the Enter....

by (few years ago!) / 481 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Animal Jokes

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'

The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,

'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best.


by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

Did you hear about the terrorist
that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?

The terrorist threatened to release one lawyer every hour
if his demands weren't met.

by (few years ago!)
Japanese business

Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.

"You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution," screamed the terrorist leader, "and you're going to be executed! Do you have any last requests?"

The Englishman spoke first.

"Before I die, I want to honor my country and protest this barbaric act by singing "God Save The Queen" to all you men."

"That can be arranged," said the terrorist.

The Frenchman said, "And I want to honor my country before I die by singing "The Marseilles" to your men."

The Japanese said, "Before I die, I wish to honor my country by giving the lecture I was going to present on the Mapanese style of industrial management."

The terrorist turned finally to the American.

"What is your last request?"

The American replied, "I want you to kill me right now so I don't have to listen to another lecture on the Japanese style of industrial management!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Education - 2

The head teacher was taking her class round an art gallery. She stopped in front of one exhibit, and sneered at the guide, "I suppose that is some kind of modern art?" "No, madam," replied the guide.
"I'm afraid it's a mirror."

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Bob and Tom both like to golf. One day Bob went to Tom and said, "Hey look at this great ball!" Tom replied, "Whats so great about it?" Bob said, "Well if you lose it, it will beep until you find it, and if it goes into the water it will float. This ball is impossible to lose!" "Wow!", said Tom, "Where did you get that from?" Bob replied, "I found it."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriendhad proposed but she had turned him down because she foundout he was an atheist, and didnt believe in Heaven or Hell."Marry him anyway, dear." the Mother said. "Between the twoof us, well show him just how *wrong* he is."

by (few years ago!)
Wedding Practical Jokes

friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by nand she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said Well, Im done with the Wal Mart lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart

by (few years ago!)
THE YOUNG BUSINESSMAN

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

by (few years ago!)
Funny Bar Jokes

A Good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?"

"Yep!"

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep."

When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?"

"Yep."

Then the Good Samaritan got to think that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs.

However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?"
"Yep."

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep."

So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk, Then went back downstairs.

To his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over toward him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, save me from this man. He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

An Atheist in the woods...

At the United Way in a fairl..

Beer Bottle

CEO

Being Poisoned!

Is Windows a Virus

Saving Her Butt`

Monkey Organization

SURVEYING THE FORMER PRESIDENT

Political Jokes

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context