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Men jokes

Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?A: Women working at 900 numbers.

by (few years ago!) / 830 views
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Lawyer jokes

A man who wanted a dog to protect his business, visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.

After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog, snarling loudly, and biting and clawing at the cage. "He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer.

"Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have a different one in mind for you." They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they found an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage.

"Ah," said the buyer. "This must be the dog you were referring to earlier."

"Well, no." said the owner. "I have something better in mind for you." The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a large dog, panting heavily and lying quietly on his side, licking his own butt. He seemed unaware of the men's approach. "This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.

The buyer was flabbergasted. "You're joking!" he exclaimed. "This dog is tame compared to the others; he doesn't even act like an attack dog."

"I know he appears tame now," said the owner. "But you see, he just ate a lawyer, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A blonde bought two horses, but could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse, and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested that she notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our blonde friend couldn't tell the horses apart.

The neighbor suggested that the blonde measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was a full two inches taller than the black one.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?"Youre still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"

by (few years ago!)
Breast Milk Advantages

The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper.

The question directed:

"Give four advantages of breast milk."

What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble

whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can't steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.

Um. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer.

Again, what to write?

Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again.

But suddenly, he brightened.

He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly scribbled his definitive answer:

4. Available in attractive containers.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?A: Her ankles.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? A. So they can find their way back to the house.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde Space Talk

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, We were the first in space! The American said, We were the first on the moon! The Blonde said, So what, were going to be the first on the sun! The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. You cant land on the sun, you idiot! Youll burn up! said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, Were not stupid, you know. Were going at night!

by (few years ago!)
Jokes > Topics > W > Women Jokes

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.

"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids

by (few years ago!)
Shortage of parachutes

A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"

by (few years ago!)
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