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Men jokes

One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, "You should be hung!" To which he calmly replied, "I am. Thats why she cuts the grass!"

by (few years ago!) / 527 views
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Marriage jokes

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?On a bun-eymoon!

by (few years ago!)
bar

A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Six shots? What's wrong?"

"I found out my older brother is gay," replied the man.

The next night, he walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. "What now?" asked the bartender.

"I found out my younger brother is gay," replied the man.

The night after that, the man walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. "Geez, does ANYBODY in your family like women?" asked the bartender.

The man replied, "Yeah, my wife does."

by (few years ago!)
AT THE COKE MACHINE

A blonde is over at this Coke Machine putting fifty cents in, taking the coke, putting it in her pockets, throwing the quarters in, taking the coke, putting it in her pockets, throwing the quarters in, taking the Coke, putting it in her pockets. After a while she has a Coke in every pocket. She keeps going, stacking the Cokes around her on the floor.

Finally, the guy behind her, getting mad, asks her, "What Are You Doing?”

She responds, "Duh, I'm winning."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Wife: "Do you think of me when youre away darling?"Husband: "Yes honey, I always bare you in mind."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?Just one, provided theres a programmer around to explain how to do it.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether shes a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "Shes a suicide blonde."The other said, "Suicide blonde? Whats that?"The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper?A. "Rough rough".

by (few years ago!)
Sister in law

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

The second man said, "There is a genie living in a bottle next to the river. If you go there and rub the bottle, the genie will grant you one wish."

The first man found the bottle near the river and rubbed it. The genie appeared and said, "I will grant you one wish." The man thinks for a while and says, "I want one million bucks."

The genie says, "It is done. Go home and in one hour go look out of your window into your front yard." After an hour, the man looked outside and all he saw was DUCKS everywhere.

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

How does a physicist exercise?By pumping ion!

by (few years ago!)
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