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Political jokes

What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?A: A competent liberal President.

by (few years ago!) / 500 views
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School jokes

Mother: How do you like your new teacher ?Son: I dont. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didnt give me one !

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Me: "What is that noise?" Customer: "Hey Martinez!! Im on the phone! Cut it out!" Me: "What was that?" Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: "Its from a device." Me: "What kind of device?" Customer: "I dont know." Me: "Like a fax machine or something?" Customer: "I dont know. Someone is under house arrest or something."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Alsation: How come you are always so well behaved when you go on a walk with your master? Chihuahua: Its the leash I can do!

by (few years ago!)
THE VALUE ADDED CHICKEN JOKE

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Colonel Sanders:
Damn, I missed one!

Anderson Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

"Isnt the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl."Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl."No.""Im the principals daughter.""And do you know who I am?" asked the boy."No," she replied."Thank goodness!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are?A: Play ball.

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Why is a modem better than a woman? A: A modem doesnt mind if you talk to other modems. A modem doesnt complain if you sit and play at the computer all night. A modem will sit patiently and wait by the phone. A modem comes with an instruction manual.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

Ever hear the expression "hard drinker" ? Never made much senseto me, drinkings one of the easiest things in the world to do.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. The bartender gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts.

To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl. "You look great tonight!" it said. "You really look fantastic... And that after shave is just wonderful!"

The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it.

Realizing he has no cigarettes, he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "You BASTARD... Oh my god you STINK... Do you know, you're almost as ugly as your mother."

By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the bartender for an explanation.

"Ah yes sir," the bartender responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

How many Real Women does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A Real Woman would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.

by (few years ago!)
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