Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Religious jokes

There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane wasbeing rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Deaths door, and said to her papal neighbour. Father, surely you can do something about this...To which the Pope replied, Sorry lady, Im in sales, not management.

by (few years ago!) / 564 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

THE DRINKS ARE ON ME

This guy staggers into a bar and shouts, "A double whisky please barman, and a drink for everyone here… and while you're at it, have one yourself."

"Well thank you sir," says the barman and proceeds to pour everyone their drinks.

Moments later the guy shouts, "Another whisky for me, and the same again for everyone else."

The bartender looks a little worried now and says, "Excuse me sir, but don't you think you should pay me for that last round first?"

The guy slurs, "I can't. I don't have any money." With this the bartender flies into a rage and literally throws the guy out of the bar.

About twenty minutes later though the guy staggers back in and shouts out, "A double whisky for me, and a drink for all my friends."

"I suppose you'll be offering me a drink too?" the barman asks, marvelling at the guy's nerve.

"Not likely," slurs the guy, "you get nasty when you've had a drink!"

by (few years ago!)
CLINTON LANDS A ROLE IN STAR WARS

"Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?"

"She's my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain't an obstacle!"

"Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I'm your father, too. And that Queen chick? I'm her daddy for sure. And Leia's. And Lando's, and Boba Fett's, and Jabba the Hutt's, and Chewie's, and..."

"Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!"

"I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky."

"Oh-h-h, you're looking for a little *WOOKIE*... Well, that's different."

"Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac -- not excuses."

"I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music."

"Well, it depends on your definition of 'father', Luke."

"Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work."

"Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster -- and make it look like a suicide."

"These are not the droids you're looking for, Ma'am. Say, it's getting hot in here -- you might want to take off your top."

"I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military... Okay, now I don't."

"It's a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away -- and I'm still a lyin' weasel."

by (few years ago!)
ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE

A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y

Shortly after the couple was married they were honeymooning in Jamaica the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis.
The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?"

The Jamaican replied, "No, Mr. that says Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

A French man, an English man, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The French man offered everyone some French bread, then he threw it out the window. The French man said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."

The English man offered everyone a crumpet and then he threw it out the window. The English man said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."

The American man quickly threw the lawyer out the window. The American said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Computers are not intelligent.They only think they are.

by (few years ago!)
FRIVILOUS LAW SUITS BY US JAILBIRDS

A Virginia inmate tried to sue himself for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted the state to pay the $5 million.

* * *

A San Quentin death row inmate sued California, claiming his civil rights were violated because his packages were sent via UPS rather than the U.S. Postal Service.

* * *

An Oklahoma inmate alleged his religious freedoms were violated but could not say just how, because the main tenet of his faith was that all its practices were secret.

* * *

A Nevada inmate sued when he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter at the Nevada State Prison canteen and received one chunky and one creamy.

* * *

An Ohio inmate sued for being denied possession of soap on a rope.

* * *

A convicted New York rapist sued the state, claiming he lost sleep and suffered headaches and chest pains after being given a "defective haircut" by an unqualified barber.

* * *

An Oklahoma inmate sued because he was forced to listen to country music.

* * *

An Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a pizza party that prison employees held for a guard leaving his job.

* * *

A Colorado con sued for early release because "everyone knows a con only serves about three years of a 10-year sentence."

* * *

An Indiana prisoner sued because he wanted to obtain Regain for his baldness.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper."Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers."To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. Im sure youll miss your mother being gone."

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 9

A man was walking down the street and he met a small boy. The man asked what was his name.
The boy replied, 'six and seven-eighths.'
The man asked him why his parents had given him such a strange name, and he replied, 'they just picked it out of a hat.'

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

A VALUABLE LESSON IN STUDENT..

THE BLIND MAN AND THE RABBI

The Proxy Father

BILL TAKES A PLANE RIDE

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context