Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Religious jokes

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising.Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them. "No, thank you," Mrs. Watkins replied. "The Lord will provide." The men shrugged and rowed on.By evening, the water level forced Mrs. Watkins to climb on top of the roof for safety. She was spotted by a man in a motorboat, who offered to pick her up. "Dont trouble yourself," she told him. "The Lord will provide."Pretty soon, Mrs. Watkins had to seek refuge atop the chimney. When a Red Cross cutter came by on patrol, she waved it on, shouting, "The Lord will provide."So the boat left, the water rose and the old woman drowned.Dripping wet and thoroughly annoyed, she came through the pearly gates and demande d to speak to God. "What happened?" she cried."For cryin out loud, lady," God said, "I sent three boats!"

by (few years ago!) / 468 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

lawyer jokes

Then, they get to see where they're going to live. The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18-room mansion with servants and a swimming pool.

At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a kosher TV dinner, and the lawyer receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver platters.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said. "Can we leave now?" "No," her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes," the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didnt have to go out of the church, Mommy." the little girl replied. "They have a box next to the front door that says, For the sick."

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?A. No phone numbers

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, Mike, you wait here, Im going to run in for confession, its been a long time.Pat enters the confessional and says, Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman.The priest asks, was it Mrs Murphy? no, Father, was the reply.Was it Mrs OBoyle? Again the reply was No, Father.Was it Mrs. OGrady? Pat said, Father, Ill not be teling you the ladys name!So the priest told him to say two Hail Marys for each time he had sinned with the woman.Back on the street, Mike said, Well, how did you do? Pat said, Just fine, I kept me mouth shut and got 3 new prospects!

by (few years ago!)
THE INFAMOUS GOONY BIRD

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"

Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.

"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"

The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neigbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopoed beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog. "You mean the one following your car?" they asked.

by (few years ago!)
MISCONSTRUED QUESTIONS?


The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class: "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?"

Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. She said: "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal." The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer.

Lily put up her hand. "Yes, Lily?"

"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."

"Very good. Thanks, Lily," said the male teacher. He then turned to the 1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents and principal: "Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: First, you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a DIRTY mind. And thirdly, I fear, one day, you are going to be sadly disappointed."

by (few years ago!)
Lethal Food

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.

But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"

"You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."

The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."

by (few years ago!)
BEYOND ALL TRACK RECORDS

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"

"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"

The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage quotes 02

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Blonde jokes

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context