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Sport jokes

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?Because he liked sole music!

by (few years ago!) / 564 views
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Computer jokes

Why was there a bug in the computer?It was looking for a byte to eat.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why are blondes like corn flakes?A: Because theyre simple, easy and they taste good

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Jokes

A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!"

The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!"

The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses...."

by (few years ago!)
A STRANGE STORY

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer. The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.

"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

Then the waitress asked Arthur Guinness what he wanted to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness ordered a Coke!

by (few years ago!)
THE BLONDE CONTRUCTION WORKERS

Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. The other blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first blonde explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE,
then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got really angry and yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house

by (few years ago!)
THE YOUNG ATTORNEY ON VACATION


For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

by (few years ago!)
Educational jokes

A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"

by (few years ago!)
THE PERFECT SCAM


Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check.

However, due to the name of the company, few people will present these checks to their banks.

The name of the company: "The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."

by (few years ago!)
IN THE CONFESSION BOX


A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest cough to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replies, "No use knocking, there's no paper in this one either."

by (few years ago!)
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