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Women jokes

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and youre going to want to shoot it.

by (few years ago!) / 1433 views
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Political jokes

Republicans say "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 6

Printed in a newspaper - Hugh and Ruth went to grammar school together and their marriage will stop a romance begun between them there.

by (few years ago!)
BAR JOKES - WALKE IN A BAR

There was a Jew and a Chinese sitting at the bar drinking. All of a sudden the Jew turns and punches the Chinese in the face knocking him off his stool, stunned the Chinese gets up and says, "What the hell was that for?"

The Jew replies, "That was for Pearl Harbor."
The Chinese says, "That was the Japanese, I'm Chinese."

The Jew says, "well you have black hair squinted eyes and buckteeth, it's all the same to me."

The Chinese says "Okay" and sits on his stool and continues drinking.
About a half hour later the Chinese turns and punches the Jew in the face knocking him off his stool, the Jew gets up and says, "What the hell was that for?"

The Chinese says "That was for the Titanic."
The Jew replies, "The Titanic? That was an Iceberg."

The Chinese says, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Steinberg, it's all the same to me

by (few years ago!)
THE SPEEDY SNAIL

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.

After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".

The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"

The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.

The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

Buffy, a blonde, needed some extra cash, so she begged her friend at the highway department for a job - any job at all.

"Sure," he said. "I always have job openings to paint the lines down the center of the roads. Would you be interested in painting stripes?"

Buffy agreed and began working immediately. The first day she painted five miles of stripes. The next day she painted three miles. But on the third day, she only painted one mile of stripes.

The supervisor took Buffy aside and asked her what was wrong. "You worked so hard and painted so fast the first couple of days. Why are you working so slowly now?"

Buffy replied, "Because the bucket keeps getting farther away."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

My computer made a funny sound the other day.Of course, Ive never heard it get thrown out a window before.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, Idtake it and throw it into the river."With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, Id take it and throw it into the river."And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, Id take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365:"Shall We Gather at the River."

by (few years ago!)
Women Jokes

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why cant blondes make ice cubes?A: They always forget the recipe.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do you drown a blonde?A1. Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.A2. Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

by (few years ago!)
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