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Women jokes

Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

by (few years ago!) / 577 views
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Computer Valentine

10 Reasons why you should have make a computer your valentine!

1. A Computer can wait for you forever.

2. A Computer does not compare you with it’s past users

3. A Computer does not mind if you have a Computer at home and in the office.

4. A Computer won’t say lets just be friends.
5. You can mute the computer whenever you want.

6. It’s easy to turn on a computer.

7. You never have to say sorry no matter what you do to it.

8. You don’t have to give it expensive Valentine gifts, New Year gifts, Birthday gifts, Anniversary gifts.

9. You can upgrade your computer if you are not satisfied with its performance or specifications.

10. Theres always Ctrl + Alt + Del

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game ?It was a cup draw !

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in reality there's substantially more information available through the rev-code than that. This article provides a guide for interpreting the meaning of the revision codes and what they actually signify.

1.0: Also known as 'one point uh-oh', or 'barely out of beta'. We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We're praying that you'll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.

by (few years ago!)
A LITTLE BOY WITH NO ARMS


There was this little boy with no arms. He wanted to ring the church bell on Sundays so he went to talk to the preacher. The preacher didn't know how he was going to do it, but he figured he would give him a shot. When they got to the top tower, the kid runs face first into the bell, no sound.

After a few moments, the kid gets up and begs the preacher for another try. The preacher tells him to do it, so the kid runs his head into the bell again, then falls out like the time before. When he gets up he again asks the preacher for another try.

The preacher just nods his head so the kid again runs his head into the bell and falls out again. By this time the bell was swinging away. When the kid stood up, the bell hit him in the face and knocked him out the window. He fell to the ground and died.

When the police came, they asked the preacher if he knew the kids name.

The preacher said," No. But his face sure rings a bell."

by (few years ago!)
THE PROFESSOR OF ECONOMICS

An economics professor at school had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam.

Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in. The professor looked at him and said, "Don't bother to hand that paper in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell."

The guy looked at him and said, "Professor, do you know who I am!"

The professor replied, "No, and I don't care if your dad is president of the United States...you get a zero on this exam"

The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, "You mean you have no idea who I am?"

The professor responded, "No, I've no idea who you think you are."

With that, the guy said "Good!" plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other student's exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room!

by (few years ago!)
Wedding & Marriage Humor and Wedding Jokes

Wedding Humor, Wedding Jokes, Wedding One-Liners, Best Man Jokes and much more funny stuff about weddings and marriage!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by nand she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said Well, Im done with the Wal Mart lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this unusual handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears. Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was, Do you notice anything unusual about me? The guy s aid, Now that you mention it, you have no ears. The man got really upset and threw the guy out. The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, Do you notice anything unusual about me? This guy also noticed, Yes, you have no ears. The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out. Then he had the third interview.. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, Do you notice anything unusual about me? The guy replied Yeah, youre wearing contact lenses. Surprised, the man then asked, Wow! Thats quite perceptive of you! How could you tell? The guy burst out laughing and said, Well, You cant wear glasses if you d ont have any ears!

by (few years ago!)
Cross Eyed Rottweiler

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"



"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."



"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"



"No, because he's really heavy"

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it.Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail !

by (few years ago!)
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