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Blonde jokes

Whats a blondes idea of natural childbirth?No make-up.

by (few years ago!) / 463 views
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Non Joking Ivorians

There is another team in the so-called group of death that hails from the continent of Africa.This team has players with special characters as well.

Many of these players honed their skills while running to school mostly barefooted as children.This aspect has worked to their advantage,such that they can outsprint a cheetah.This aspect of their game works for them such that when they get the ball,they end up leaving their opponents gasping for breath.

The only terrible aspect about it,is that they sometimes lose control of their braking system,so they find themselves running into people in the stands who are watching.

They also have well developed muscles.Their bulging muscular frames usually make someone think that some additional sort of material has been fixed inside their bodies.They resemble more of body builders than soccer players.

Thsi works to their advantage,because when an opponent just looks at their advancing frames,one usually leaves the ball alone and flees to the referee for refuge,so that he does not get hospitalised by the weird combination of speed and fridge-shaped bodies.

They acquire these types of physique by eating a double share of some traditional african food which contains some special properties than can bulge up the thinnest person to herculean proportions in just one day.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive differentcars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their owncomputers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses andHome Pages. They say theyre doing everything they can to keep theirmarriage together.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. Its fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. Hes an East German Shepherd.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Why is it dangerous to let your mans mind wander?A: Its too little to be out alone.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

A man and his son were shovelling the driveway after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady, wandered away from them. Man, fearing the dog might be hit by car, shouted angrily: "Lady! Lady! Get over here right now!" The dog charged happily back over to them, accompanied by a commuter who had been standing at the bus stop. "Yes, sir, what can I do for you?" she asked.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, Id take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, Id take it and throw it into the river."And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, Id take it and throw it into the river."He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."

by (few years ago!)
15 Ways to be Annoying

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money.

2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.

3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you're a "spider person."

4) When attending a movie you've already seen, yell out: "Don't let him in! He's the killer!"

5. When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it.

6) When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: "I hope I fixed it this time."

7) Beep when a large person backs up.

8) Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the "little men."

9) Insist on making inanimate objects "dance"

10) Occasionally talk into your hand in public.

11) Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it's full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds.

12) When stopped at a traffic light during rush hour, claw desperately at the roof of the car.

13) Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster.

14) While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.

15) Insist that life is "one big musical," then try to prove your theory by randomly breaking out into song in public.

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

How do you know when a liberal is really dead?A: His heart stops bleeding.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?A. Any place without a drive-up window.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

by (few years ago!)
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