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Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?Branch manager.

by (few years ago!) / 485 views
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Blonde jokes

How does a blonde commit suicide A She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

by (few years ago!)
Bars & Bartender Jokes & Funny Stories - 2

A man walks into a bar and asks, 'Do you serve women in this bar?'
'No,' replies the barman, 'you have to bring your own.'

by (few years ago!)
A ROLL OF QUARTERS


A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside the crotch of his jeans.

He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed her constantly glancing down at his crotch.

"Hi, there, I'm Jerry," he said, as he went into one of his well rehearsed routines, "and I help produce a T.V. quiz show. Is there any question I can answer for you?"

"As a matter of fact there is," she said as she glanced down once more toward his embellished jeans. "Do you have change for a dollar?

by (few years ago!)
THE UNLUCKY PIRATE

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean? I'm fine."

"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," said the bartender, "what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird crap!"

"Well, I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

A businessman, on his deathbed, called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.'"

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Whats tennis players favourite city?Volley wood!

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A big, buff, and burly blonde man goes into the local drug store to buy some rubbers, so that he will be able to practice safe sex with his new girlfriend.

The blonde guy walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for this box of rubbers?"

"Well, condoms are $1.00 for a box of three," the pharmacist replied. "Plus seven cents for the tax."

"Oh," said the blonde man, "I wondered how you kept them on."

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but youve only drawn the cow?Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

by (few years ago!)
What Do You Want Out Of Life?

A teacher asked the students in her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A young girl in the front row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four animals."

"Really?" asked the teacher. "What four animals would that be?"

"A mink on my back, a jaguar in my garage, a tiger in my bed and a jackass to pay for it all," the girl replied.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage Short Jokes

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :
- The Engagement Ring
- The Wedding Ring
- The Suffer-Ring
- The Endue-Ring

Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens

by (few years ago!)
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