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Blonde jokes

This blonde is so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number!

by (few years ago!) / 569 views
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Funny Animal Jokes

A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes

What do you call a person who goes on talking when nobody listens?
A. A teacher!

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why dont you swerve to hit him?A: It might be your bicycle.

by (few years ago!)
The hot shot

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?A mental hospital.

by (few years ago!)
Circumcision

Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?"

The other says, "Circumcision."

The first boy says "Oh, man! I had that done right after I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Animals

Two dogs were walking along the road. One dog stopped and said: "My name is Fido. What's yours?
The other dog thought for a minute, and then replied: "I think it's Down Boy."

by (few years ago!)
A Womans Ultimate Fantasy

In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a womans ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the respondents said that a womans ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.

While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

by (few years ago!)
THE VALUE ADDED CHICKEN JOKE

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Colonel Sanders:
Damn, I missed one!

Anderson Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

by (few years ago!)
THE YOUNG BUSINESSMAN


A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

by (few years ago!)
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