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Blonde jokes

What does a blonde make best for dinner?A: Reservations.

by (few years ago!) / 570 views
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Blonde jokes

If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first?A. The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunettes tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blondes tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes,"MOOOOOOOOOO!"

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

Kempo: Percussion class with people as the drums
Aikido: Origami with people
Tai Chi: Martial arts overdosed on Valium

"Someone once told me that my Tai Chi would only be useful in fighting NFL replays."

"I once described Tai Chi to my fellow classmates as being just like standing still, only faster."

"The idea of Taiji is to yield to your opponent's attack. In most cases the yielding seems to be so pronounced that the idea must be to play on the opponent's pity."

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

What are you going to be when you get out of school?An old man!

by (few years ago!)
Animal Jokes

The National Game warden put out a warning to all hikers in his area. Warning that they should wear small bells on their boots so not to startle the bears. To distinguish the grizzly bear the notice read-- small bears droppings are small with nut and berries in it. Grizzly bear droppings are much larger with nuts and berries and little tiny bells in it.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

One day 3 women went to the top of a water flume in a swimming pool. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman.When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and said "when your going down the flume shout out the on thing that you want and you will land in it at the bottom. So the black haired woman went down and shouted "money" and landed in a load of cash, the brown haired woman went down and shouted "gorgous men!" and landed in a pile of men. The blonde woman wasnt listening to the genie so she went down shouting weeeeeee.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 4

A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day. He was glad for the interlude because it taught him how much his wife loved him.
She was so thrilled to have him around that when a delivery man or the mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled,
"My husband's home! My husband's home!"

by (few years ago!)
I know you were drunk yesterday

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot.

When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs though, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his back. That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke; the broken glass carved up his back terribly. Yet, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.

A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up terribly. He then repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.

The next morning, his head was hurting, his back was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.

"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"

"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."

"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where did you go?"

"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"

"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Mum, Mum, Dads broken my computer!How did he do that?I dropped it on his head.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why dont blondes like to make Kool-Aid?They cant get eight cups of water into that little packet.

by (few years ago!)
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