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Blonde jokes

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?A: She fell out of the tree

by (few years ago!) / 521 views
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THERE WERE THREE NUNS...


There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says, "ok, do your sins, come back, and I'll bless you." So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed.

The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, "I had sex with a guy."

The priest said, "ok," blessed her and said, "go drink some holy water." So she did!

The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was. She said, "I got in a fight with another nun."

The priest said, "ok," blessed her and said, "go drink some holy water." So she did!

The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did.
And as she was laughing she said, "I pissed in the holy water!

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?"Witness: "Where am I Cathy?"Attorney: "And why did that upset you?"Witness: "Because my name is Susan."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, youd better be a little boulder."

by (few years ago!)
THE CHARM OFFENSIVE


This guy arrives home to find his wife waiting for him by the door. "And what time do you call this," she starts angrily, "You went down to the take away three hours ago, and now you stagger back here stinking of booze, with no food!"

"Look," the guy responds calmly, "How do you fancy a chicken vindaloo, rice, bombay potatoes, and a chapatti?"

"Oh, all right then." his now really hungry wife agrees.

"Fine." He says, and throws up all over her!

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

But lets get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding ? Ahusband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometercontrols the weather.

by (few years ago!)
CLINTON'S BIGGEST BILL


President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him.

"What is it?" exclaims the President.

"It's the Abortion Bill, Mr. President - what do you want to do about it?"

"Just go ahead and pay it."

by (few years ago!)
Late For School

Little Johnny was late getting to school.
"Johnny, you're late," scolded the teacher.

"It's not my fault, Miss Jones," Johnny replied. "It's because of the sign."

"What sign?" the teacher asked.

"The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow'. That's what I did," said Johnny.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but youve only drawn the cow?Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?Webley stadium!

by (few years ago!)
President Jokes About Daughter’s Wedding to Henry Hager

President Bush has joked about his daughter’s upcoming wedding to her fiancé Henry Hager. Jenna Bush is set to marry Hager on May 10 at her parent’s Texas ...

by (few years ago!)
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