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Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?

by (few years ago!) / 598 views
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Blonde jokes

Why was the blonde in the tree?A. Because she was raking up the leaves!

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Blonde jokes

Why dont blondes have elevator jobs A They dont know the route.

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Dog jokes

What has got four legs and an arm? - A: A Rottweiler in a playground.

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Marriage jokes

After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, "You know what I really feel like honey ?" "Well sure," she blushed, "But we gotta eat sometime !"

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Women jokes

One woman to another at a singles bar: "Im not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?"

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A woman stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling her tank, she paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As she stood by her car to drink her cola, she watched a couple of blonde men working along the roadside.

One blonde man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other blonde man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the lady with the soft drink and went on down the road.

"I can't stand this," said the woman, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," she said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"

"You don't understand, lady," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there are three of us - me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney is sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work."

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "Im very sorry officer, I didnt realize it was out, Ill get it fixed right away."Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed." So the officer asked for Johns license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired." And again John apologized and mentioned that he didnt realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning. Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired." Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, will you shut up!" The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked Does your husband always talk to you like that Jessica replied only when hes drunk.

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

Saint Peter and Satan were having an argument one afternoon about baseball. Satan proposed that a baseball game would be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches up here."

"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "After all, we've got all the umpires."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?One, to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

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Political jokes

How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

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