Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

A client who felt his legal bill was too high...

A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:

"Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. -$50.00."

by (few years ago!) / 603 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

101 Dumb Blonde Jokes or is it 100 Dumb Blond Jokes

It does not matter is if it is 100 Dumb Blond Jokes, or 101 Dumb Blonde Jokes, all the blonde jokes I have listed are the absolute best blonde jokes that I have ran across since I first started this website on AOL in 1994

Oh yeah. Glad you stopped by. To any blondes who may be offended by my 101 Blonde Jokes Section: Get over it! The majority of the blonde jokes came from blondes! Besides, I'm a blonde too. (Or is that blond?)

Also found here is political humor, general humor other nonsense that I have ran across

My contributors are my best source of material, so feel free to contribute.

I have a stack of jokes about a 2 feet high (no kidding) and will have a better idea what to add after I weed out the bad ones and categorize the rest.

I appreciate all contributions. I find that 95% of the ones sent in to me I already have. Don't let that stop anyone from sending in theirs. I read them all and put the good ones in my "To Add At A Future Date" file and the exceptional one I add right away.

This 101 Blonde Jokes website was my very first attempt at creating a website, and while I have upgraded it several times, I spend the majority of my time writing and promoting other websites (the ones that make me money). I still enjoy a good joke, though, and enjoy sharing them with others, so I eventually come back and do some work on this, my first and favorite, website.


by (few years ago!)
Hair Smell

An office secretary stands by the water cooler taking a drink when a male co-worker stands in front of her and takes a deep long inhale and says, your hair smells great. The secretary says thank you and returns to her desk.
This same situation occurs everyday for the next couple of weeks, so she finally makes a complaint to the office supervisor. She explains the situation and says she wants to file a report for sexual harrassment.
The supervisor says I know this has been annoying but how can you claim sexual harrassment?
She says it's Keith the midget that's doing this.

by (few years ago!)
A STORY ABOUT EVERYBODY


This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

by (few years ago!)
TWO WISHES

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"

"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.

The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer,"

The ostrich says "I'll have the same."

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.

"Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man.

"Same for me" says the ostrich.

"That will be $7.20" says the bartender.

Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 5

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions - "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Me: "What is that noise?" Customer: "Hey Martinez!! Im on the phone! Cut it out!" Me: "What was that?" Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: "Its from a device." Me: "What kind of device?" Customer: "I dont know." Me: "Like a fax machine or something?" Customer: "I dont know. Someone is under house arrest or something."

by (few years ago!)
THE TIRED OLD GENIE DOES A FINAL WISH

A truck driver was tooling down the highway one afternoon and heard a "pop." Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to check his tires.
He found a bottle laying in the gutter. He picked it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of bottle it was when a very old genie popped out.

The genie said, "Man, I'm too old for this! You get one wish -- not three -- just one."

The driver thought long and hard, and finally said, "It would be really nice for all the bridges to be wide enough that over-sized loads could get through without any trouble."

The genie said, "Do you know how many bridges that would be?! Can't you come up with something simpler?"

The driver replied, "How about if you make all the blondes as smart as brunettes?"

The genie shook his head vigorously and answered, "How wide would you like those bridges?"


by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could draw. His dogs name was "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which he did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog, "Balance", could do better. He told him to fetch a dozen cookies and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was a very good stunt, but that his dog, "Apothecary", could do better yet. He told his dog to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. Apothecary did this without a hitch. All three men agreed their dogs were equally smart. They turned to the Civil Servant and asked him what his dog could do. The Civil Servant called his dog, whose name was "Coffee break", and said, "Show the fellows what you can do, old buddy." Coffee Break then stroll ed over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, screwed the other three dogs and claimed he injured his back while doing so. He then filed a grievance for unsafe conditions, applied for Workers Compensation, and left for home on sick leave.

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

Good: Your son's finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.

Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She's a lawyer.

Good: The postman is early.
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK-47.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

I married Miss Right. I just didnt know her first name was Always.

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Train

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

LEGLESS!

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context