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Blonde jokes

One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blondes friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"

by (few years ago!) / 618 views
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Blonde jokes

A blonde gets her first period, so she goes to the drugstore to get some pads. The wide selection and huge variety confuse her, so she asks the clerk for some help. "What kind of pads should I get?" she says. "This is all new to me." "Well," says the clerk, "that depends on the flow."She says, "Its ceramic tile."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ?That hit the spots !

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

If the State of the Union is really "the best its ever been" Why do we "need" dozens of new government programs to fix it!

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

One day, a blonde went into an appliance store that was having a sale on TV's. She walked up to the counter and said to the clerk, "I would like to buy this TV."

The clerk replied, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes."

So, The blonde dyed her hair brown and returned the next day. Again, she went up to the counter and said, "I would like to buy this TV."

And again, the clerk answered, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes."

Puzzled, the blonde asked, "How did you know I was a blonde?"

And the clerk said, "Because that is a microwave."

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

Us blonds at the offise are sew tired of awl of the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supreme cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side.

by (few years ago!)
Finding perfect men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"

An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

by (few years ago!)
Who is Married? Little Johnny

"Teacher, I have a question for you," says little Johnny.

"If there are 3 women sitting in an ice cream parlor, and one is biting her ice cream cone, the second is licking her ice cream cone, and the third is sucking her ice cream cone, how can you tell which one is married?"

The teacher thought for a moment, and says "The one who is sucking her ice cream cone is the married one."

"Wrong," says Johnny, "you can tell which one is married by which one has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you think."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What do you say to a dog before he eats? - A: Bone appetite!

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

These three guys are sitting at a bar arguing which one has the ugliest wife. The conversation begins to get heated to the point of the barkeeper telling them to get the hell out or shut up! In fact he says, "Why don't you settle it once and for all and just visit each others house and decide for yourselves."

"Damn Good idea," they agree, finish their drinks and make off for the first guy's house. Upon arriving he bangs on his door and the wife answers, she's not pretty and he turns to collect the bet from the other two. "Not so fast," says the second, "I got that beat."

And off they go to his house. He bangs on the door and his wife comes to the door, and all three step back in fright, she's damn ugly. He asks to collect the bet but the third guy says, "Sorry. I've got you both beat."

He goes to his house and walks right in, there's no sign of anyone around. He stomps his foot on the trap door in the floor and they all hear a voice say: "Is that you honey?" "Yeah it's me," he says. "Do you want me to come out?" she asks "Yes please," he says. "Should I put the bag on my head?" she asks. He says, "No. I don't want to screw you! I just want to show you off

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

Former college basketball coach Abe Lemmons made the following observations concerning the differences between doctors and coaches.

Doctors can bury their mistakes:
Coaches still have theirs on scholarships.

by (few years ago!)
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