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What do you call a judge gone bad?

What do you call a judge gone bad?

Senator.

by (few years ago!) / 607 views
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Computer jokes

What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer?The Netcracker suite.

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know. Why don't you play your age?" Then he walked away.

Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she alright?"

The roulette wheel operator replied, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, she just fainted!"

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

How do barmen surf the web?On the Gin-ternet.

by (few years ago!)
office jokes

"Why did your boss jump out of the window?" the detective at the crime scene asked the secretary.

"I don't know." she sobbed. "My boss was always so nice to me. Two months ago he gave me a fur coat, last month a sports car and just today a diamond ring. Then he asked, what it would cost to be able to ravish me."

"And what did you say to that?" asked the detective.

The secretary replied, "I just said, that the other men in the office always just gave me fifty dollars."

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms--so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the Uuniversity of Virginina to party with some friends.They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept all day Sunday and didnt make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didnt have a spare. They couldnt fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus.Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin.They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was worth 5 points. "Cool," they thought, "this is going to be an easy final". They then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it. The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire?

by (few years ago!)
Two women talking joke

Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I
mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to
take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.

Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 5

MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
PERCY: I do, don't I?

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? Thats where you wash all your vegetables!

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair service. The friendly technician after inspecting the equipment, informed the manager that the machine was in need of a good cleaning. The tech suggested that someone might try reading the operators manual and perform the job themselves, since it would cost $100.00, if he did the work. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asks, "Does your boss know you are discouraging business?" "Actually, my boss demands we explain this to all our customers". "After people try first to fix things themselves, we end-up making much more money on repairs"

by (few years ago!)
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