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Blonde jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless. Where have you been? asked the man. I cant believe you left me down there! I couldnt get the tailgate open!

by (few years ago!) / 662 views
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THE SINGING BULLFROG

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a stranger confronts him and offers him £100,000 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to £250,000 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to £500,000 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere £500,000!"

"Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic ?His bark was much worse than its bite !

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Where do football directors go when they are fed up?The bored room!

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Business jokes

"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. Ill connect you with my supervisor . . ."

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What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?I dont know but Ill join in if it laughs !

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School jokes

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?Square meals!

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Sport jokes

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?"Caddy: "The way you play, sir, its a sin any day of the week!"

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Laywer Heaven

A lawyer died and found himself at the pearly gates. He was admitted to heaven. He saw saints, martyrs, philanthropists, and great good people with their harps and wings all being treated very well. To his surprise, he was given a golden harp, special treatment, and a throne near God.

He was treated much better than anyone else. He asked, Are all lawyers treated like this? He was answered, We don't know. You're the first Laywer Heaven, first!

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

"What Women Want:
To be loved, to be listened to,
to be desired, to be respected,
to be needed, to be trusted,
and sometimes, just to be held.

What Men Want:
Tickets for the World Series."

- Dave Barry

by (few years ago!)
Few Funny Bumper stickers

If we arent supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

by (few years ago!)
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