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Blonde jokes

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, shes overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, dont do it..."The blonde yells back, "Shut up! Youre next!"

by (few years ago!) / 559 views
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Marriage quotes 06

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin

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by (few years ago!)
Marriage quotes 03

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by (few years ago!)
Political Humor

Watch the latest spoof videos lampooning the presidential candidates and catch up on recent classics, including SNL's Clinton-Obama Ad, "The Empire Strikes Barack," "Young Hillary Clinton" and more.

by (few years ago!)
BAR JOKES - WALKE IN A BAR

A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "Pint of your best" he says to the bar man.

Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van Gogh is sitting at one of the tables. He goes up to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?"

"Yes" the old man replies.

"Do you want a pint?"

"No, ta. I've got one `ere."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What is the blondes chronic speech impediment?A: She cant say "No".

by (few years ago!)
Magic Beer

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter.
She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.
"Magic Beer", he says.
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,
"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"
"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.
The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk!"

by (few years ago!)
Your Age in Chocolate

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway--but the Hershey Man will know!

It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read ...

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 .... If you haven't, add 1755.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e, how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

by (few years ago!)
Curing a Cough

The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall.

The owner goes inside and asks his clerk whats up.

"He wanted something for his cough, but I couldnt find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once."

"Laxatives wont cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily.

"Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. Hes afraid to cough."

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

The outraged lawyer said, "This is a rip off! How come the lawyer brains are so expensive?"

The doctor replied, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"

by (few years ago!)
LEARNING TO LIVE TOGETHER

A Jewish man lives into a Catholic neighbourhood. Every Friday The Catholics are driven crazy because, while they're morosely eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him to Catholicism Finally, after many threats and much pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and says, "Born a Jew, Raised a Jew, Now a Catholic The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening smells every Friday evening. But the next Friday evening, the scent of barbecue wafts through the neighbourhood.
The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house to remind him of his new diet. They see him standing over the cooking steak He is sprinkling water on the meat and saying, "Born a cow, Raised a cow, Now a fish

by (few years ago!)
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