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Men jokes

Why cant men get mad cow disease?A. Because theyre all pigs.

by (few years ago!) / 507 views
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Dog jokes

What did the dog take when he was run down The license number of the car that hit him

by (few years ago!)
A GUY WALKS INTO A BAR... OUCH!


A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the toilets. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!"

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, "You should be hung!" To which he calmly replied, "I am. Thats why she cuts the grass!"

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Whats black and white, black and white, black and white? A nun rolling down a hill.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

There were three blonde men stranded on an island, when one of the blonde guys suddenly found a lamp. On one side, the lamp says, "Rub here for three wishes."

So the three blonde guys agree that this is a good idea, rub the lamp, and a genie pops out and says, "I will give you each one wish."

The first blonde guy wishes to be a brunette. He then swims across the small lake.

The second blonde man wishes to be a red head. He gets in a boat and rows across the small lake.

Then the third blonde man wishes to be a woman. And, she simply walks across the bridge.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What does a blonde make best for dinner?A: Reservations.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A man walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner

The teenage blonde girl at the checkout counter looks at him and says, "Single, are you?"

The man replies very sarcastically, "How ever did you guess?"

The blonde replied, "Simple! Because you're ugly."

by (few years ago!)
INHERITANCE BLUES

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"
My mother died in August," his friend replied, "and left me £25,000. Then in September my father died, leaving me £90,000."

"Losing both parents in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me £15,000." His friend continued.

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

"Then this month," concluded, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?A: Women working at 900 numbers.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?One, to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

by (few years ago!)
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