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Men jokes

Now do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

by (few years ago!) / 510 views
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Lawyer jokes

A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bedside and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life. A week later the man died. At the wake, the Lawyer and Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelope in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell.

By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the Clergyman, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10,000 in the envelope he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a Mission in South America. He asked for their forgiveness.

The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergyman's sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He said, he too, could not bring himself to waste the money so frivolously when it could be used to benefit others.

By this time the Lawyer was seething with self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of his oldest and most trusted friends. "I am the only one who kept his promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained the full amount. Indeed, my envelope contained my personal check for the entire

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Boy: Do you have fever?Girl: No, why?Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Fatherasked, "Does this fellow have any money ?"The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike."sighing deeply, she replied, "Thats exactly what he asked me aboutyou."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?A: The joystick is wet.

by (few years ago!)
The proposition

The Devil said to the lawyer, I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wifes soul, your childrens souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and I want to have anal sex with your 14 year old daughter.

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, So, whats the catch?

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

School Principal: Ive called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldnt use so often. One is "great" and the other is "lousy." Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What do you say to a dog before he eats? - A: Bone appetite

by (few years ago!)
How many lawyer jokes are there?

How many lawyer jokes are there?

Just two, all the rest are true.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Whats a blondes favorite color?A: A light shade of clear

by (few years ago!)
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