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Marriage jokes

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Fatherasked, "Does this fellow have any money ?"The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike."sighing deeply, she replied, "Thats exactly what he asked me aboutyou."

by (few years ago!) / 547 views
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lawyer jokes

It will answer your questions at any time without sending you a bill for one hour of time, when the consultation would only take 5 minutes.

6. Keeps all of your information confidential.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly ?The collie wobbles !

by (few years ago!)
STRANDED


A man is stranded on a deserted island, all alone for ten years. One day a gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba suit arrives at the island. She comes up to the chap and she says, "How long has it been since you had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!" he answers. She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asks, "How long has it been since you had a whisky?"

He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a bottle of malt whisky and gives it to him. He takes a long swallow and says, "Wow, that is fantastic!"

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you had some real fun?"

And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, Why dont we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe itll work !?

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?A: It is the one with the kickstand.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?A: Silicone chips.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Education

A lonely frog, desparate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

by (few years ago!)
Doctors talk Politics

An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor said "That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."

A Russian doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said "Hah! We are about to take an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country will be looking for work the next day."

by (few years ago!)
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