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Lawyer jokes

What is the proper weight for a lawyer?About 3 pounds, .......not counting the urn!

by (few years ago!) / 533 views
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Business jokes

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, sohe asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much wouldyou take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?A. Because in Job 16:12 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde on an Airplane

There monce was a blonde who got on a airplane. She sits down and waits to lift off. She looks around and sees that everyone is clam, so she stays clam. Then they were in the air. 5 minutes later, the pilot comes on the speaker and says, "I'm sorry but we have just been informed that we have just lost one of our pellets, so we are going to be in the air longer" So the blonde looks around and sees that everyone in clam, so she stays clam.

5 minutes later the pilot comes on again and says, "I'm sorry, but we have just been informed that we just lost another pellet, so we are going to be in the air a little longer" So the blonde looks around and sees that everyone is clam, so she stays clam.

5 minutes later the pilot comes on again and says, "I'm sorry, but we have just been informed that we have just lost another pellet, so we are going to be in the air a little longer" So then the blonde stands up and everyone is looking at her, and she says, "If we lose another pellet, we are going to be in the air forever"


A JOKE TOLD BY BECCA

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?Q. They think their picture is being taken.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?He raised Cain.

by (few years ago!)
Little Johnny Failed Math

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said '6'."

"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

"That's what I said."

by (few years ago!)
Celebrex, Celebrex

Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate?

A: Fuck if I know

by (few years ago!)
Blonde on a picnic

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were walking to a picnic across the Mexican border. When they arrived at the border, an officer stopped them. He asked them where they were going and they told him that they were going to a picnic. The officer then asked the brunette what she was bringing to the picnic. She told him that she was bringing some wine in case they got thirsty. So the officer said that she could go, and she did. Then the officer asked the red head what she was bringing to the picnic. She said that she was bringing some food in case they got hungry. So the officer allowed her to go. Then he asked the blonde what she was bringing to the picnic. The blonde replied, "I'm bringing a car door in case we get hot. Then we can roll down the window."

by (few years ago!)
office jokes

Hire Teenagers
while they still know everything!
HELP WANTED:
TELEPATHY

You know where to apply Why is the man who invests all of your money
called a broker?

by (few years ago!)
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