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Lawyer jokes

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?Never enough.

by (few years ago!) / 543 views
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Wedding Jokes

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"

An old granny overheard and spoke up,

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Mr. Marlow was strolling through the country when he saw a stable with the most beautiful horse he ever laid eyes on. It was seventeen hands high and white, with rippling muscles and a fine, flowing mane. Mr. Marlow struck a deal to buy it from the owner who did, however, pass on one key piece of information.
"We are a religious family, Mr.Marlow, and we've instilled those values in our horse. To get him to gallop you must say 'Thanks God' to get him to stop you must say 'Our Father Who Art in Heaven,"
Settling into the saddle, Marlow said " Thanks God," and the animal took off. They rode for miles; suddenly they were coming up to a cliff. Unfortunately, Marlow couldn't remember the phrase to make the animal stop and tried every Biblical passage he could think of until, just a few feet from the edge of the cliff, he shouted, " Our Father Who Art in Heaven! The animal stopped instantly. Shaking and perspiring, Marlow reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Thanks God," he said as he mopped his brow...

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios?A. Donut seeds

by (few years ago!)
Bears in Bars

There is this bear, right, and he walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "Can I have a large Gin and Tonic Please
The Barman replies "Yeah sure, but what's with the big pause
Thear holds up his paws and says "I'm a bear!!"

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But, officer," the man began, "I can explain""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "Im going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.""But, officer, I just wanted to say""And I said to keep quiet! Youre going to jail!"A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chiefs at his daughters wedding. Hell be in a good mood when he gets back.""Dont count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "Im the groom."

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. - Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

by (few years ago!)
Animals Jokes And Other Creature Jokes

We have a variety of Animals and Creatures Jokes here, cats to frogs, or from Chicken Crossing the road jokes to Everyone's Crossing the road. Drop in and stay awhile.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

How did the dog make gold soup He put in 24
carrots

by (few years ago!)
ON A PROMISE...


Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love.
The first woman said, "My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that."

The second woman proclaimed, "My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!"

The third woman replied, "Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it's going to be, when I finally get it..."

by (few years ago!)
Educational Jokes

This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam, they had solid "A's."
These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem. final was on Monday), they decided to go up to University of Virginia to a party with some friends.
So they did this and had a great time. However, they ended up staying longer than they planned, and they didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Aldric after the final and explained to him why they missed it. They told him that they went up to Virginia for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time. So they were late getting back to campus.
Aldric thought this over and agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Aldric had told them.
He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page.
They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.
It said: (95 points) "Which tire?"

by (few years ago!)
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