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In pain

A blonde goes to the doctor and he asks, Whats wrong? She says, I hurt all over. So he says, What do you mean, all over? So the blond takes her finger and pokes her knee. Ow, that hurt. Then she pokes her cheek. Ow, that hurt. Then she touches her earlobe. Ow, even THAT hurt! So the doctor asks, Is blond your natural hair color? The blond says, Yes. The doctor says, You have a broken finger.

by (few years ago!) / 686 views
(Rated 4 Stars - 1 votes)
 

Similar Jokes

Blonde jokes

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and a passenger. The passenger happens to be George W Bush. (Why?} Maybe, he was on his way to check on the coca plant life in South America!") The masked gunman held a gun to the pilots head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq or Im gonna spill your brains all over the place." The pilot calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "Look buddy, if you shoot me this plane will crash right into the sea and youll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought about it, then held the gun to the copilots head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq or Im gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." The copilot also calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "Listen to me. The pilots got a bad heart and he could keel over at the shock of my being killed. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and youll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought about it for a moment and then held the gun to the navigators head and repeated, "Take this plane to Iraq or Im gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." The navigator calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "I wouldnt do that if I were you. Those other two guys have no sense of direction. Without me they couldnt find their way out of a paper bag much less get this plane to Iraq. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and youll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought some more, shrugged and this time held the gun to the passengers head and demanded, "Take this plane to Iraq or Im gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." No one said a word, at first, then the pilot, co-pilot, and navigator all brust into laughter. "Hes George W Bush!" they laughed. "He doesnt have any brains!"

by (few years ago!)
Rules For Work

1. Never give me work in the morning.
Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline
is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and
interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even
better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone
where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you
are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes,
books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a
paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be
injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to
do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I
adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life
beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a
secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell
everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be
whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for
a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No
use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people
you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I
am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm
doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems.
No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I
especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you
received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN
tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating
with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?A: A visitor.

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

Kempo: Percussion class with people as the drums
Aikido: Origami with people
Tai Chi: Martial arts overdosed on Valium

"Someone once told me that my Tai Chi would only be useful in fighting NFL replays."

"I once described Tai Chi to my fellow classmates as being just like standing still, only faster."

"The idea of Taiji is to yield to your opponent's attack. In most cases the yielding seems to be so pronounced that the idea must be to play on the opponent's pity."

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

Two male computer science students met on campus one day. The first student called out to the other, "Hey. Nice bike! Where did you get it?"

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush, "There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!" George Bush replies, "Oh yeah and tell me what you see?" Osama answers, "I can see New York, with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side, and everything is peaceful and wonderful." George Bush says, "Wow is that what you see? Well Ill tell ya what I see for the future of Afghanistan... I see a house here, a house there, a small building here and small building there, but there are signs hanging in the middle of the street." Osama asks, "And what do they say?" George answers, "Hell, I dont know. I cant read Hebrew!"

by (few years ago!)
AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE


An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.

At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:

"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

.What are the worst six years in a blondes life?A: Third Grade.

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. Its distracting!"Caddy: "This isnt a watch, sir, its a compass!"

by (few years ago!)
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