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In pain

A blonde goes to the doctor and he asks, Whats wrong? She says, I hurt all over. So he says, What do you mean, all over? So the blond takes her finger and pokes her knee. Ow, that hurt. Then she pokes her cheek. Ow, that hurt. Then she touches her earlobe. Ow, even THAT hurt! So the doctor asks, Is blond your natural hair color? The blond says, Yes. The doctor says, You have a broken finger.

by (few years ago!) / 669 views
(Rated 4 Stars - 1 votes)
 

Similar Jokes

The story of a very short man

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.

The bartender asks "He can drink?"

"Oh, sure. He can drink."

So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.

"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"

The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.

The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"

The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?A: They both have black roots.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says," I want a beer." So after he drank his beer he was about to leave then he noticed that his horse was gone.He shouted," if i dont get my horse back after this beer i am gonna have to do what i did in Georgia. So he finished his beer and he saw his horse was back so he got on and rode a little, then the bartender asked out the window what did you have in Georgia? i had to walk home.

by (few years ago!)
AT THE JOB INTERVIEW

One day a man tried to get a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours. At the final interview part, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers.
"I can fix that with some Aspirin. Just take some and I'll be better in a second"

So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls condom after condom out until he finds the Aspirin. He takes it and his blinking goes away.

The CEO says "We don't approve of womanizing!"

The guy says "Oh! No! Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist for aspirin while your winking"

by (few years ago!)
Australian Joke

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

The Sarge says,'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.

'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'

The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'

The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.

The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'

He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.

'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that...So what's the other possible good news?

'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!'

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

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by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Whats the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

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"Sure," he said. "I always have job openings to paint the lines down the center of the roads. Would you be interested in painting stripes?"

Buffy agreed and began working immediately. The first day she painted five miles of stripes. The next day she painted three miles. But on the third day, she only painted one mile of stripes.

The supervisor took Buffy aside and asked her what was wrong. "You worked so hard and painted so fast the first couple of days. Why are you working so slowly now?"

Buffy replied, "Because the bucket keeps getting farther away."

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Religious jokes

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by (few years ago!)
Comments from Dr's Patients

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

10. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

by (few years ago!)
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