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Sport jokes

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, thats awful!" "Youre not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

by (few years ago!) / 664 views
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Men jokes

Men are like coolers.Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

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Golf Ball Joking Jelly 3D Window Decal

Ouch! Static-cling circle, about 6 inches in diameter with the look of broken glass, features a 3-D object inside. Makes any window look like someone threw something through it. The object appears to be sticking out of the window. Far more realistic and funny than our 'bullet holes'! Choose Golf Ball Rock, Baseball or Hockey Puck. Window decals are made out of actual sports equipment to create a realistic 3-D look. Each 3D Decal is blister carded.

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AN OCCUPATIONAL HAZZARD

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers... we had $100 when we broke in!"

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Lawyer jokes

Where is the best place to hide a lawyer?In a brief case.

by (few years ago!)
A LITTLE MONKEY BUSINESS

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".

The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5,000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, "That was a very expensive monkey, most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"

"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage. He says to the shop keeper, "That one's even more expensive, $10,000! What does it do?"

"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."

The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price tag round its neck says $50,000.

He gasps to the shop keeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"

"Well," says the shopkeeper, "I don't know if it actually does anything, but says it's a Consultant.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

"You and your husband dont seem to have an awful lot incommon," said the new tenants neighbor. "Why on earthdid you get married?""I suppose it was the old business of opposites attract,"was the reply. "He wasnt pregnant and I was."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?A: From eating with forks.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

One evening, two Alabama State Trooper patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Chevy Camaro going east on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.

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The Sarge replied, "You stupid rookie! That guy's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

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Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage

I still miss my ex-husband - but my aim is getting better.

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