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Sport jokes

A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club?"Were the crowd not behind you" asked the reporter"They were right behind me all right", said the manager, "But I managed to shake them off at the station!"

by (few years ago!) / 659 views
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Similar Jokes

Oh the Internet is slow

The Net is Slow

Oh, the network outside is frightful,
But on campus, it's so delightful,
Our packets have nowhere to go,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
All our packets, our hosts are dropping;
Bandwidth is turned way down low,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.

When we finally connect to a site,
It's time to go back to the dorm;
But if I could stay here all night,
I could submit their Web form.

The network is slowly dying,
And, I fear, we're still denying,
But as long as Sprint is the way to go,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.

by (few years ago!)
UNDER THE STREET LIGHT

Late at night, a drunk was on his knees beneath a street-light, evidently looking for something. A passer-by, being a good Samaritan, offered to help. "What is it you have lost?" he asked.

"My watch," replied the drunk. "It fell off when I tripped over the pavement."

The passer-by joined in the search but after a quarter of an hour, there was still no sign of the watch. "Where exactly did you trip?" asked the passer-by.

"About half a block up the street," replied the drunk.

"Then why are you looking for your watch here if you lost it half a block up the street?"

The drunk said: "Because the light's a lot better here."

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

"And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh?" the priest asked at confession. "I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence," said Kavanaugh. "Im goin after the rest of it tonight!"

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher : Were you copying his sums ?Pupil : No Sir, just seeing if he got mine right !

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining the day is young,
we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside
worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring
that's not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the
light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these
people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed
any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no
one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still mess on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there...
13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ...
15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs.
So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE
MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why cant blondes make ice cubes?A: They always forget the recipe.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A boy and his blonde date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Suddenly, the blonde stopped the boy.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex," said the sultry young blonde. The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We dont serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? Were cultured individuals."

by (few years ago!)
Animals Jokes And Other Creature Jokes

We have a variety of Animals and Creatures Jokes here, cats to frogs, or from Chicken Crossing the road jokes to Everyone's Crossing the road. Drop in and stay awhile.

by (few years ago!)
Office Terminology for the New Millennium - Part I

ADMINISHPERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

CHIPS & SALSA: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa.

CLM -Career Limiting Move: Used to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

DILBERTED: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."


by (few years ago!)
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