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Men jokes

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?Both of them.

by (few years ago!) / 687 views
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Business jokes

An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my message where I said, Ship the Enron documents to the Feds?"The manager goes white. "Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house."Did he get anything." his mates asked."yeah, a broken jaw and six teeth knocked out. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, "You should be hung!" To which he calmly replied, "I am. Thats why she cuts the grass!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes

A blonde is outside when the garbage man comes up the drive way and asks her if "any garbage today?"
The blonde answers "We'll have three bags please."

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Education - 2

Pupil: "Excuse me, Sir, but I don't think I deserve a mark of zero for this exam paper."
Teacher: "Neither do I, but it's the lowest mark I can give."

by (few years ago!)
THE VALUE ADDED CHICKEN JOKE

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Colonel Sanders:
Damn, I missed one!

Anderson Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

by (few years ago!)
hitched (more) wedding jokes

Roll on the floor laughing at yet more humorous jokes! ... don't forget to tell us if you have anymore to add

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?A: Double-dumb.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Whats a mans idea of honestly in a relationship?A. Telling you his real name.

by (few years ago!)
I'm just trying to be helpful

good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep".

Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs.

Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man.

He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"

by (few years ago!)
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