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Men jokes

How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

by (few years ago!) / 575 views
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IS THAT YOUR DOG?


A timid little man, walked into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."

"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"

"Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."

"Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"

"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above?A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Casey married a rich widow, but they didnt get along. One day she said to him, "If it wasnt for my money, that new television wouldnt be here. If it wasnt for my money, that grand piano wouldnt be here. If it wasnt for my money, this house wouldnt be here." Casey mumbled, "If it wasnt for your money, I wouldnt be here."

by (few years ago!)
Just joking

It appears the Sports Desk, along with several other media outlets, has been taken for a ride...

However, the Sports Desk stands by its claims that BK has been carving it up on the Oztag fields of Brisbane.

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IN A DRUNKEN HAZE


One night, after a long evening of drinking, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home he spotted a nun walking down the road.

After looking at her twice he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.

Some people passing by spotted this and called the police.

As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, "I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

man was complaining to a friend."I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!""What happened?" asked the friend."My wife found out."

by (few years ago!)
THREE ENGLISHMEN...


These three English guys are out drinking one night and decide that they want to have a fight. They stagger from pub to pub looking for a likely victim to pick on when they come across a single Irishman in this one bar.

"Watch this." Says the first Englishman, heading over toward the guy, "I hear that St Patrick was a shirt lifter."

"Really." Says the Irishman, calmly continuing to drink.

With that the second English guy decides to join in, "Yeah, and I hear he was a pervert too."

"Is that so?" the still calm Irishman responds.

"I know how to rile this tosser." Says the third Englishman, staggering toward the Irishman, "Hey, did you know St Patrick was really an Englishman?"

The Irish guy casually looks up and says, "Yeah, so your mates were telling me.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought that the man looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong.

"I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied. "Some ticked-off husband wrote to me, and said he would kill me if I didn't stop messing around with his wife."

"So stop," the barkeep said.

"I can't," the womanizer replied, taking a long swill. "That bastard didn't sign his name!"

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lawyer jokes

Now that lawyers can advertise, says one reporter,
you had better brace yourself for the
following pitch from one who specializes in divorces:
"Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. "Im sorry, sister," said the attendant, "but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamberpot. The nuns agreed that this would be fine. They returned to the car.As they were pouring the gasoline into the tank, a man drove by, stopped his car, and said, "Oh sister, if only I had your faith."

by (few years ago!)
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