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Marriage jokes

You and your husband dont seem to have an awful lot incommon," said the new tenants neighbor. "Why on earthdid you get married?""I suppose it was the old business of opposites attract,"was the reply. "He wasnt pregnant and I was."

by (few years ago!) / 500 views
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Similar Jokes

Clinton's wish for world peace

Clinton is on the beach at Martha's Vinyard and finds that an old bottle has washed ashore. When the Prez opens it a very wan Genie snakes out.

Genie: Hi Bill. I'm a very weak genie, so I can only grant you one wish--it had better be easy if you want me to do it.

Clinton: I pray for world peace. Give me that.

Genie: That's a little hard, give me something easier.

Clinton: Make Hillary into the most beautiful woman in the world?

Genie: World peace it is.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How many blonde jokes are there? A: One - the rest are all true.

by (few years ago!)
Question and answer animal jokes

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser.

Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
A: To take over the other side.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 9

Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

by (few years ago!)
Bars & Bartender Jokes & Funny Stories - 2

Did you hear about the florist who had two children?
One is a budding genius and the other one is a blooming idiot.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?A: The vegetable garden

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

Why do liberals travel in threes?A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

I looked into a blondes eyes but all I saw was the back of her heard

by (few years ago!)
Marriage Jokes

Getting married is like going to a restaurant. When you see what everyone else has ordered you wish you were having what they're having.

Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

I haven't spoken to my Mother-In-Law for eighteen months....I don't like to interrupt her

Posted by Nick van der Leek at 10:21 PM

Labels: humor, marriage jokes


by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

Taking his seat in his chambers, the small-town southern judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," the judge said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leoni, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

Then the judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. and proceeded to hand it to Leoni. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we are going to decide this case solely on its merits."

by (few years ago!)
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