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Broken Car

There is a blonde, a red head and a brunette girl. Their car breaks down in the middle of no where so the red head grabs the water bottles and says we might need these then the brunette grabs the first aid kit and says we might need this if someone gets hurt and the blonde pulls off the door and says we might wanna roll down the windows if it gets too hot.

by (few years ago!) / 835 views
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MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
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Sport jokes

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked."Youll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!""Really? Howd you do that?" "I dropped the ball."

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Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager.

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lawyer jokes

"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!"

"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"

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Women jokes

Shortly after the birth of their second child, her husband offered to take her shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated. As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husbands opinion. By this time, he had learned just the right things to say. "Its perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer and slenderizes your hips." Just then, a voice from the dressing room piped up. "If theres a dress here that will do all that- Ill take ten!"

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Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?

Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?

You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.

by (few years ago!)
THE HEAVENLY CAT

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful, she had to sleep in cold back alleys where there was no food and life was hard. God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on. The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy.

A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth. Earth was no better for them than it was the cat.

They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people. God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates.

One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven. She explained that it was absolutely wonderful. The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels.


by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

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Bar jokes beer booze and fun

Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marleys head."How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how bout making it a little longer in the back?"

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