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THE GOOD SAMARITAN

A Good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?"

"Yep!"

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep."

When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?"

"Yep."

Then the Good Samaritan got to think that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs.

However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?"
"Yep."

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep."

So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk, Then went back downstairs.

To his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over toward him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, save me from this man. He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"

by (few years ago!) / 647 views
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Bar jokes beer booze and fun

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "Whatll you have?" The guy answers A scotch please The bartender hands him the drink, and says Thatll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I dont owe you anything for this."A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, hes got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But dont ever let me catch you in here again."The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I cant believe youve got the audacity to come back!" The guy says, "What are you talking about? Ive never been in this place in my l ife!" The bartender replies, "Im very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."To which the guy replies Thank you. Make it a scotch

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TIME TO HIT THE ROAD?


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Pretty Bad News

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Patient: What?! How about the bad news?

Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.

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Comfortable Telegram

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The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette has only $1 left, meaning she'll only be able to send her sister a one-word message.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word...'comfortable'."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slowly...out loud... ("com-for-da-bul")."

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