Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Non Joking Ivorians

There is another team in the so-called group of death that hails from the continent of Africa.This team has players with special characters as well.

Many of these players honed their skills while running to school mostly barefooted as children.This aspect has worked to their advantage,such that they can outsprint a cheetah.This aspect of their game works for them such that when they get the ball,they end up leaving their opponents gasping for breath.

The only terrible aspect about it,is that they sometimes lose control of their braking system,so they find themselves running into people in the stands who are watching.

They also have well developed muscles.Their bulging muscular frames usually make someone think that some additional sort of material has been fixed inside their bodies.They resemble more of body builders than soccer players.

Thsi works to their advantage,because when an opponent just looks at their advancing frames,one usually leaves the ball alone and flees to the referee for refuge,so that he does not get hospitalised by the weird combination of speed and fridge-shaped bodies.

They acquire these types of physique by eating a double share of some traditional african food which contains some special properties than can bulge up the thinnest person to herculean proportions in just one day.

by (few years ago!) / 678 views
(Not Rated Yet)

Similar Jokes


These three English guys are out drinking one night and decide that they want to have a fight. They stagger from pub to pub looking for a likely victim to pick on when they come across a single Irishman in this one bar.

"Watch this." Says the first Englishman, heading over toward the guy, "I hear that St Patrick was a shirt lifter."

"Really." Says the Irishman, calmly continuing to drink.

With that the second English guy decides to join in, "Yeah, and I hear he was a pervert too."

"Is that so?" the still calm Irishman responds.

"I know how to rile this tosser." Says the third Englishman, staggering toward the Irishman, "Hey, did you know St Patrick was really an Englishman?"

The Irish guy casually looks up and says, "Yeah, so your mates were telling me

by (few years ago!)
Dog Property Rules

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If its broken, it's yours.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

The stoplight on the corner of Third Avenue and Delaware Street buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged blonde co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I matter-of-factly explained that it buzzes to signal to blind people when the light is red.

The blonde responded, sounding quite appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row

by (few years ago!)
Resume Mistakes Reasons for leaving


"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."


"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

by (few years ago!)
Why did the nurse go to art school?

Why did the nurse go to art school?

Answer: To learn how to draw blood!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license? A: "Oh, its not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. Thats disgusting!"

by (few years ago!)

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".

The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5,000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, "That was a very expensive monkey, most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"

"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage. He says to the shop keeper, "That one's even more expensive, $10,000! What does it do?"

"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."

The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price tag round its neck says $50,000.

He gasps to the shop keeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"

"Well," says the shopkeeper, "I don't know if it actually does anything, but says it's a Consultant.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-linedating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck andhe said hed quit -- seems theyd matched him up with his wife.

by (few years ago!)
Hair rule? NFL must be joking

With college basketball aplenty, a new baseball season and what should be a very exciting NBA playoffs coming up, it's a wonder why football would garner any headlines right now.

Yet the NFL has made sure it's still on the sports fans' mind. One way the league has done this is by proposing a ban on long hair.

It was reported by the NFL Network that the Kansas City Chiefs proposed a new rule in which players wouldn't be allowed to wear their hair long or flowing out of the back of their helmet. The league's owners are expected to vote on the issue later in the month at a meeting in Florida. But I think I can save all the owners a little time by doing the voting right now.


It's an unnecessary and ridiculous rule. It's legal to tackle a player using their hair if it's hanging out of the back of their helmet, and any player with long hair should know that. If they still want to keep their hair long, why tell them no?

As the NFL Network's Adam Schefter writes, the rule would help in that long hair would no longer "cover or obscure the names on the back of player's jersey."

And, of course, referees refer to each player by number when calling them for a penalty. Announcers have lists of each team's roster with them in the announcing booths, where one of the items on the roster list is player number. Plus, can they read the name on the back of a player's jersey from all the way up in the booth?

As far as I know, no player in the NFL has hair long enough that it completely covers the number on the back of their jersey. Oh, and there is also the front of player's jersey, which too has their number, just in case there is a player with that long of hair.

So the covering up of a player's name shouldn't really be too much of a worry.

Also, long hair is a distinction. It's much easier to recognize a player with long hair in the middle of a game, while action is going on, than a player without long hair. Wouldn't making a player cut their long hair, or hide it in their helmet, just make picking them out of all players on the field more difficult?

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

The Patient and Nurse

What do you call a judge gon..

Computer Term Dictionary


Help Wanted

computer jokes

office jokes

Jokes And Funny Stories Abou..

School jokes


ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context