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Political Jokes - Goverment Jokes, Politician Jokes and Military Jokes

Just absorb the great words of our leaders like:
"Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it's important to let people have more of their own money."
--- George W. Bush, Boston, Oct. 4, 2002

Or better yet.

by (few years ago!) / 876 views
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Similar Jokes

Do It Yourself

When the office printers type began to grow faint, the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he said, the manager might try reading the printers manual and doing the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asked, Does your boss know that you discourage business?

Actually its my bosss idea, the employee replied. We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didnt think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy says, "Listen, I dont want your money, nor do I want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that water!"

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called intothe personnel directors office. "What is the meaning of this?" thedirector asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had fiveyears experience. Now we discovered this is the first job youve everheld.""Well," the young man replied, "in your advertisement you said youwanted somebody with imagination."

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.”
The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see.” replied the father-in-law, “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.” “I hate office work,” said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk.” “Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you half owner of a money-making industry, but you don’t like factories, and won’t work in an office. What am I going to do with you?” “Easy,” said the son-in-law. “Buy me out.

by (few years ago!)
STOOD OVER A TEE SHOT

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the goddamn ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Well, hell, man, you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

* * *

Four guys were out on the golf course. As one of them was teeing off at the 10th hole, which was next to the highway, they saw a funeral precession go by. Instead of teeing off, the guy removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.

At this point, the other three said, "You know, the was the most touching thing I've ever seen."

And the guy answers, "Well, I was married to her for 15 years. It was the least I could do!"


by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Marriage is natures way of preventing people from fighting with strangers.

by (few years ago!)
The Joker's back and he's as batty as ever!

Pros: Cool story and lots of great action scenes.
Cons: The movie may not be for everyone since the story's based on the cartoon shows.

Batman Beyond is the name of the Kids' WB television cartoon series. In the series, the creators take a look into the future of Batman. This movie is based off of the cartoon. Before the Kids' WB first aired Batman Beyond, there was once an animated...

by (few years ago!)
AOL addiction poem

My computer broke down.

It crashed and burned!

And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...

And keep it off my mind.

It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.

The cashier in electronics was staring at me.

But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.

I drew a crowd as I began to cry.

I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!

Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.

The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!"

Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.

Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!

Then he looked at me and said, "Don't come round here no more!"

I feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How low can I go?

So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction.

Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neigbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopoed beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog. "You mean the one following your car?" they asked

by (few years ago!)
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