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Joker is back and crazier than ever

First I have to say, WOW! this film kicks serious butt! "Batman Beyond the Return of Joker" is the first, in what I hope is a long series, of Batman Beyond feature lenght movies. In case you don't know Batman Beyond is the Kids WB cartoon about...

by (few years ago!) / 622 views
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School jokes

Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?On their feet!

by (few years ago!)
Breast Milk Advantages

The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper.

The question directed:

"Give four advantages of breast milk."

What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble

whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can't steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.

Um. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer.

Again, what to write?

Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again.

But suddenly, he brightened.

He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly scribbled his definitive answer:

4. Available in attractive containers.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A big, burly man visited the pastors home and asked to see the ministers wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses."Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.""How terrible!" exclaimed the preachers wife. "May I ask who you are?"The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "Im the landlord," he sobbed.

by (few years ago!)
FIRE ENGINE


As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.

Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.

In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine,
"If that's the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams!"

by (few years ago!)
SOME THINGS YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN

A farmer is sitting in the neighbourhood bar slowly getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.

The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over."

"That's not so bad, what's the big deal?"

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened?" the man asked again.

The farmer relenting, continued "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over."

"Again?"

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

" So, what did you do then?" then man asked, intrigued.

"I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocks over the bucket with her tail."

"Wow, you must have been pretty upset!" but that's no reason to just sit here getting all depressed."

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So then what else did you do?" the man asked again.

"Well I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That's when my pants fell down and my wife walked in. Some things you just can't explain."

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the sunny Caribbean. They were discussing their great vacations when the lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

That is quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer, quite puzzled, asked, "How DO you start a flood?

by (few years ago!)
Teacher At Court

A schoolteacher was given a ticket for driving through a red light. When she appeared in traffic court, she asked the judge for immediate attention to her case as she was due to be back in class. The judge looked at her sternly and said:

"So you're a schoolteacher. I am about to realize a lifelong ambition. You sit down at that table over there and write 'I went
through a stop sign. 'FIVE HUNDRED TIMES!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher? A.Its cloged up with paper plates.

by (few years ago!)
Fun With Blondes ~ Jokes, Humor, Pics

This "fun with blondes" web page is chock full of new clean jokes, hilarious humor, one-liners, cute cartoons, and funny photos about all those lovable dumb blondes. You'll find cheating boyfriends, car wrecks, golf & tennis, ice fishing, rafting, gambling, luxury cruises, desert islands, and yes, some sexy encounters. But there's NO porn and NO annoying banner or pop-up ads! Enjoy

by (few years ago!)
office jokes

A well-known proverb states that an optimistic would say a glass is half full, while a pessimist would say it is half empty. What would people of different professions and walks of life say?

The BANKER would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.

The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.

The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.

The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.

The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?

The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?"

The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts; one a colorless, odorless liquid, the other a colorless, odorless gas. Thus the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.

The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it.

by (few years ago!)
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