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lawyer jokes

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.

by (few years ago!) / 541 views
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How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?A: She fell out of the tree.

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Sports jokes

One afternoon, two women were sitting at a bar discussing their love lives. One woman looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think that the best way to end an argument is to make love."

"Well," said the other woman," that would certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!"

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Blonde jokes

What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?A. Wave at her.

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A Blonde's Brain At Work

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.

"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

The teenage blonde girl at the checkout counter looks at him and says, "Single, are you?"

The man replies very sarcastically, "How ever did you guess?"

The blonde replied, "Simple! Because you're ugly."


by (few years ago!)
clean political jokes : Facts and opinions about weird jokes and clean political jokes.

Don't you find it interesting how weird jokes spread around the globe? How clean political jokes can rocket around the entire country in a matter of days? You want to find out the reason this is true? It is because the world shares clean political jokes because of our passion for a sense of humor and each and everyone of us make it a reality. We share the wealth, so to speak.

by (few years ago!)
FOOLING THE PROFESSOR

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. However, they decided to party instead. So, when they went to the test, they decided to tell the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tyre and they needed a bit more time to study.

The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to separate classrooms to take the exam. Each shrugged and went to two different parts of the building. As each sat down, they read the first question.

"For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom."

At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease.

Then, the test continued... "For 95 points, tell me which tyre it was."

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

A country woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blustery January day in North Dakota. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up.

The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied. "Put them between my legs; they'll warm up." He did, and his hands warmed up.

The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the girl. He said, "My nose is freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up." He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boy friend was once again driving with the girl and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The next day, the girl is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" The somewhat concerned mother says, "Yes, I have. Why do you ask?" The daughter says, "Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out!"

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Lawyer jokes

Whats the difference between a lawyer and an onion?You cry when you cut up an onion.

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

Mr. Johnston, a businessman from Colorado, recently went on a business trip to Arizona. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jo Ann, to let her know that he had arrived safely.

Unfortunately, he mistyped a few letters and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away.

The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted. When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."


by (few years ago!)
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