Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

lawyer jokes

The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergyman's sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He said, he too, could not bring himself to waste the money so frivolously when it could be used to benefit others.

By this time the Lawyer was seething with self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of his oldest and most trusted friends. "I am the only one who kept his promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained the full amount. Indeed, my envelope contained my personal check for the entire

by (few years ago!) / 549 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

blonde jokes

A woman stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling her tank, she paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As she stood by her car to drink her cola, she watched a couple of blonde men working along the roadside.

One blonde man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other blonde man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the lady with the soft drink and went on down the road.

"I can't stand this," said the woman, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," she said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"

"You don't understand, lady," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there are three of us - me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney is sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

One day 3 women went to the top of a water flume in a swimming pool. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman.When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and said "when your going down the flume shout out the on thing that you want and you will land in it at the bottom. So the black haired woman went down and shouted "money" and landed in a load of cash, the brown haired woman went down and shouted "gorgous men!" and landed in a pile of men. The blonde woman wasnt listening to the genie so she went down shouting weeeeeee.

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were protecting. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job, figuring if he were to get caught, he wouldnt be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. In his first week, the deaf collector picks up more than $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money, and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia boss soon realizes the collection is late and sends some of his thugs after the deaf collector. The thugs drag the guy to an interpreter. The right-hand man says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Wheres the money?" The deaf collector signs, "I dont know what youre talking about." The interpreter tells the main man, "He says he doesnt know what youre talking abo ut." The main man pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf collector signs, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park just east of the big fountain." The interpreters eyes light up, and he says to the thug, "He says he still doesnt know what youre talking about, and doesnt think you have the guts to pull the trigger."

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the "Soup of the Day" now?

Waiter: The current "Soup of the Day" is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.

(Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.)

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

(Waiter leaves.)

Patron: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!

The check: Soup of the Day Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day
Access to support

Note: Bug in the soup included at no extra charge (will be fixed with Tomorrow's soup of the day).

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: Whats with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I dont know, but Ive never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Lets have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, whats with that group ahead of us? Theyre rather slow, arent they? George: Oh, yes, thats a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group was silent for a moment. Pastor: Thats so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And Im going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if theres anything he can do for them. Engineer: Why cant these guys play at night?

by (few years ago!)
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Judge: "Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?"

Juror: "I don't want to be away from my job for that long."

Judge: "Can't they do without you at work?"

Juror: "Yes, but I don't want them to know that."

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

After reading the complicated instructions for the automatic teller, the confused customer walked over to a bank officer. “Excused me,” said the customer, “but I was wondering if you could help me out.” “Certainly,” smiled the officer. “Go right through that door.

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Jokes

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.

In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"

"Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"

"Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--"

"Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine.

Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.

"Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.

I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move.

However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.

He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"

by (few years ago!)
IN THE BEGINNING...


In the beginning was the computer. And God said :Let there be light!

#You have not signed on yet.
:God.

#Enter user password.
:Omniscient.

#Password Incorrect. Try again!
:Omnipotent.

#Password Incorrect. Try again

by (few years ago!)
Blonde Email

How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail?
Envelopes in the disk drive.

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Train

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Marriage quotes 13

Blonde jokes

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context