Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

blonde jokes

A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash. He walks over to the bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry sir. You can't bring that alligator in here! It's a dangerous animal, and you're scaring all of the patrons." True enough, the man looked around, and noticed that everyone was standing on the tables, looking very nervous.

"But wait!" he cried. "This alligator is tame! It wouldn't hurt anyone." However, the bartender is adamant. "If," the man continues, "I can prove that this alligator is not vicious, can he stay?" "Well, I guess so," says the bartender. "However, you're going to have a devil of a time proving to everyone in here that that alligator is tame."

The man smiles, and leans over the alligator. "Ralph!" he shouts. "Sit up." With that, he beats the alligator on the head with his fist. BANG. BANG. BANG. And the alligator rears up on its tail.

"Ralph, open your mouth." BANG. BANG. BANG. And the alligator opened its huge mouth wide, revealing row upon row of gleaming white teeth. The man pulls out his wang, and lays it in the alligatorÕs mouth, as the entire bar crowd gasps. "Ralph! Close your mouth, but DON'T BITE!" BANG. BANG. BANG. As the man pummels the alligator on the head, the giant mouth slowly closes, and stops just short of biting the guys d**k off.

by (few years ago!) / 932 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Sports jokes

Alexander Potter was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen.

One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the television set.

"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you're doing?"

"I am sick of sports, and I'm sick of TV," his wife replied. "You haven't touched me in months. We're going to talk about sex right now!"

"Okay, Okay. So..." After a moment, he asked, "How often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"

The man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead, seven to nothing."

A few minutes later the wife lets one loose. The man says to her, "What was that?"

She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."

The man lays there for about ten minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard that he shits all over the bed.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Half time. Switch sides."

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 3

Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How does a blonde kill a worm?A: She burys it.

by (few years ago!)
THE MAGIC MIRROR

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, if one tells a lie then with a “POOF” you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.

So, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."

“POOF” The mirror swallows her.

Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive."

“POOF” The mirror swallows her.

Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think. . . ."

“POOF

by (few years ago!)
educational jokes

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said its H to O!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why do blondes drive BMWs?A1: Because they can spell it.A2: Because they can spell BWM.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Why is a dog like a baseball player?He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

by (few years ago!)
There was life before the computer

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,
It would hurt when you found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut--you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A friend meets up with her friend as she is picking her car up from the mechanic.Her friend asks, "Everything ok with your car now?"The blonde replies, "Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid."

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

The Patient and Nurse

What do you call a judge gon..

Computer Term Dictionary

Chaos

Help Wanted

computer jokes

office jokes

Jokes And Funny Stories Abou..

School jokes

CORKED!

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context