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Sports jokes

Coming home from his Little League game, young Bobby swung open the front door very excitedly. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what had happened at his son's game. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.

"You'll never believe it." Bobby said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"

"Really? How did you do that?" inquired his dad.

Bobby replied, "I dropped the ball."

by (few years ago!) / 666 views
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kid jokes

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?Wire haired terriers !!

by (few years ago!)
YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN...

Your bookmarks takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

• You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

• All of your friends have an @ in their names.

• You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Excite.

• You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

• Your phone bill is delivered in a box.

• You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

• The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

• You forget what year it is.

• You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited.

by (few years ago!)
FINAL REQUESTS


A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales.

"Why Bloomingdales?" asked the rabbi.

"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear A petticoat.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that its empty, and goes back inside.Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that its still empty, and goes back in.The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"The blonde replies, "Darn right theres a problem! My computer keeps on telling me Ive got mail!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes > Topics > W > Women Jokes

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

Again, there's a bright flash ... and then his legs fall off!

by (few years ago!)
BRAIN SURGERY


A man went in for a Brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect's brain which would cost him £10,000 or the Politician's which was £100,000.

"Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.

"not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Wife: "Do you think of me when youre away darling?"Husband: "Yes honey, I always bare you in mind."

by (few years ago!)
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