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Blonde and Yo Mama Joke Update

A few weeks ago, I asked you to cast your vote on whether blonde and "yo mama" jokes were appropriate for kids. Blonde jokes, it seems, are slightly less offensive than "Yo Mamas," with a nearly 50% approval rating. But my readers opinions are important to me, and both kinds of jokes are now banned from the JokesByKids newsletter.

You can see the latest poll results (or vote, if you haven't already) at:

by (few years ago!) / 532 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

DOG BITES

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"
"No."

A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.

"That's not my dog."

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead traveling through the desert when their car suddenly stalls. They all got out of the car and, upon realizing that it wasn't not going to start, they each took one thing from the car.

The brunette takes a bottle of water, the redhead takes a bag of food with her, and the blonde takes the car door. They begin to walk through the desert, and soon stop to rest. At this point the blonde and the brunette turn to the redhead and ask her why she brought the food. She replies, "Well, in case I get hungry, I'll have something to eat."

They all think this is pretty reasonable, and then the redhead and the blonde turn to the brunette and ask her why she decided to bring water. The brunette replies, "Well, in case I got thirsty, I'll have something to drink." They all decide that's a good idea, too.

Finally, the brunette and the redhead turn to the blonde and ask her why on earth she would take the car door. She replies, "Well, I thought if I got hot, I could roll down the window."

by (few years ago!)
THE INTERN PUBLIC FOLDER


We have a big intern public folder at work, where all interns can post items and discussions, I found this is very amusing:

Intern 1: Does anyone know where and how we can access a high quality scanner and maybe even a photo quality 300dpi printer on campus?

Intern 2: Translation: Does anyone know where I can get access to the necessary equipment for making a fake ID?

Intern 3: Don't jump to conclusions. He could just as well want it to scan pornographic images.

Intern 4: Yes! The past few posts have made it perfectly clear! Intern 1 plans to scan pornographic images onto false identification cards! This will allow him and his friends to:

1) Get into bars
2) Improve the quality of their appearance
3) Give bouncers something to look at besides a smug photo
4) Distract bouncers from the scotch tape edges What a brilliant marketing move! Where can I buy stock in this venture, Intern 1?

by (few years ago!)
TOP TEN TRICKS TO LIVEN UP A MEETING

Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called.

Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.

During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm.

Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming.

Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it.

Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room.

Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points.

When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, smile contentedly, and say, "Well, here's the way I see it, J.B..." (or any other impressive-sounding initials that are not actually your boss's.)

Complain loudly that your neighbour won't stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it.

Bring a small mountain of computer printouts to the meeting. If possible, include some old-fashioned fanfold paper for dramatic effect. Every time the speaker makes a point, pretend to check it in one of the printouts. Pretend to find substantiating evidence there. Nod vigorously, and say "uh-huh, uh-huh!"


by (few years ago!)
POLITICS ON THE FARM

Two farmers were discussing politics and the first one says: "I believe in a share and share alike policy. One where we are all equal."

"Well" replied the other farmer "I'm not sure about that. What you mean is that if you have two horses you'd give me one?"

"Of course" says the first.

The second farmer continued: "and of you had two cars, you'd give me one of them too?"

"absolutely"

"So" says the second farmer, "if you had two pigs then you'd give me one of them?"

"ah, now hang on a minute" says the first, "you know I've got two pigs!"

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

One night, Kirk passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy, Bernie, awoke to the sound of Kirk's voice from beyond. "Kirk is that you?" Bernie asked.

"Yes, it's me," Kirk replied.

"This is unbelievable" Bernie exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"

by (few years ago!)
AOL addiction poem

My computer broke down.

It crashed and burned!

And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...

And keep it off my mind.

It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.

The cashier in electronics was staring at me.

But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.

I drew a crowd as I began to cry.

I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!

Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.

The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!"

Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.

Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!

Then he looked at me and said, "Don't come round here no more!"

I feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How low can I go?

So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction.

Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second Guy: "Thats nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You havent said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. Whats the deal?" Fourth Guy: "I dont want to talk about it. Lets just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why dont blondes eat Jelly?A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 5

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."
Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to K-Mart now?"

by (few years ago!)
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