Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

You know you are in a Texas church when

People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.

The restrooms are outside.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

When it rains, everyone is smiling.

Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.

The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".

The pastor wears boots.

Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

Baptism is referred to as "branding".

There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.

The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"

by (few years ago!) / 664 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

TWO STORKS

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

One whale turned to the other whale and said, "Hey! Do you see that fishing boat off in the distance? What do you say we swim over there, blow some water out of our blow holes, ram the boat and eat all the fishermen?"

The second killer whale said, "Well, I am up for the blow job, but I don't eat seamen."

by (few years ago!)
BAR JOKES - WALKE IN A BAR

A bear walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve bears."

The bear demands a drink, but the bartender keeps refusing. Finally, the bear, glancing over at a woman sitting on a stool near him, says, "Either give me a drink, or I'll bite off the arm of this woman sitting next to me."
The bartender still refuses, so the bear leans over and bites off her arm. "Now, get me a drink, or I'll bite off her other arm too."

The bartender says, "Sorry, man, it's not my policy. We don't serve bears."
So the bear takes off her other arm. "Now get me a drink, or else I'll finish her off."

But the bartender says no again, so the bear turns around, eats the rest of the women, and says, "Now get me a drink, or you're next."
The bartender shrugs. "Sorry, we don't serve people who take drugs."

The bear says, "I haven't taken any drugs."
But the bartender replies, "Well, that was a barbiturate."

by (few years ago!)
office jokes

. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. The adverb always follows the verb.

4. Employ the vernacular.

5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7. Remember to never split an infinitive.

8. Contractions aren't necessary.

9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10. One should never generalize.

11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. Be more or less specific.

15. Understatement is always best.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing

by (few years ago!)
STOOD OVER A TEE SHOT

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the goddamn ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Well, hell, man, you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

* * *

Four guys were out on the golf course. As one of them was teeing off at the 10th hole, which was next to the highway, they saw a funeral precession go by. Instead of teeing off, the guy removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.

At this point, the other three said, "You know, the was the most touching thing I've ever seen."

And the guy answers, "Well, I was married to her for 15 years. It was the least I could do!"

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns dont talk.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do blonde brain cells die?A. Alone

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

What did the mouse say to the webcam?Cheese.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," she said. "Its in case I should die before my husband. Im sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

School jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context