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Why did the nurse go to art school?

Why did the nurse go to art school?





Answer: To learn how to draw blood!

by (few years ago!) / 587 views
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DRINKING VOCABULARY CHALLENGE

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon


Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate


Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

"Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?"" My right hand."" Amazing!Most people have to use the on/off switch."

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

A history jokeTeacher: When was Rome built?Pupil: At night.Teacher: Why did you say that?Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasnt built in a day!

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher: Are you good at math ?Pupil: Yes and noTeacher: What do you mean ?Pupil: Yes, Im no good at math !

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising.Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them. "No, thank you," Mrs. Watkins replied. "The Lord will provide." The men shrugged and rowed on.By evening, the water level forced Mrs. Watkins to climb on top of the roof for safety. She was spotted by a man in a motorboat, who offered to pick her up. "Dont trouble yourself," she told him. "The Lord will provide."Pretty soon, Mrs. Watkins had to seek refuge atop the chimney. When a Red Cross cutter came by on patrol, she waved it on, shouting, "The Lord will provide."So the boat left, the water rose and the old woman drowned.Dripping wet and thoroughly annoyed, she came through the pearly gates and demande d to speak to God. "What happened?" she cried."For cryin out loud, lady," God said, "I sent three boats!"

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Two guys are hiking in the forest when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! The one guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes!
His friend says to him "You're crazy! There's no use, do you know how fast Grizzlies are, you'll never be able to out run it!" and the guy says, "I only have to out run you!

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

When they got upstairs, the Indian told her to take off her clothes and bend over. When she did, he took out a 2x4 and smacked her on the ass. "What the hell did you do that for!" she exclaimed.

"Me check for bees." replied the Indian.

by (few years ago!)
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do Gods work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

by (few years ago!)
Educational jokes:

Once, in a typical inner-city school, there worked a science teacher who was just too busy! She decided to make a clone of herself so she could get twice as much work done. Well, the clone helped her a lot, but it also gave her a bad reputation because it kept swearing at the children. One day, the woman couldn't take her clone's rudeness any more, so she took it to the top of the school building and pushed it off. Soon after, the woman was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

by (few years ago!)
TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR FALLING ASLEEP AT YOUR DESK

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

"I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."

"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

"Amen"

"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"

"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."

"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

by (few years ago!)
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