Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Marriage quotes 03

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.

A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland

by (few years ago!) / 701 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Cannibal Restaurant

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

Broiled Missionary: $ 10.00 Fried Explorer: $ 15.00 Baked Politician: $ 100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politician?"

The waiter replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?"

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

How does Al Gore spell potato?A: T-A-T-E-R.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How does a blonde hemophiliac treat herself?A: Acupuncture.

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes

One cold winter day a boy was standing out side a shoe store praying to God for some socks or some shoes. Just them a lady walks up to him and says, "Is there something that I can help you with?" He looks down at his feet,and says "well, I would like some shoes."
She grabs his hand and takes him in to the shoe store. She asks for a dozen pair of socks and a pair of shoes. They sit down; get the socks and shoes on. As the woman is getting up to leave, the boy says thank you, and she tells him that if he ever needs anything else, to not to be afraid to ask. So he asks, "Are you Gods wife?"

by (few years ago!)
Actual Answer from a Medical Student

While making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students.

As you can see, he says, the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.

The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, What would you do in a case like this?

Well, ponders the student, I suppose Id limp, too.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Education

What not to say to the nice policeman:

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

man who worked in a cruise liner as a magician had a parrot and every time the man did a trick the parrot yelled, “it’s in the pocket,” “it’s in the pocket,” the magician would do another trick and the parrot yelled, “it’s in the hat”, “it’s in the hat.”
One day during his act the cruise liner had a problem and the ship sunk. The parrot came up from the water and looking confused said; “NOW WHERE DID HE HIDE THE SHIP

by (few years ago!)
A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY

drunken man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologised and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Who holds up stagecoaches and steals laptop computers?Click Turpin

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road. The truck driver made it a practice to hit any pedestrian lawyers with his truck as he sped by.

One day, he spotted a priest walking along the road and stopped to give him a ride. A little further along, as he approached the town, he spotted a lawyer walking along the side of the road.

Automatically, he veered his truck towards the lawyer, but then he remembered his passenger. He swerved back to the center, but he heard a "whump" and in the rear view mirror he spotted the lawyer rolling across the field.

He turned to the priest and said, "Father, I'm sure that I missed that lawyer."

And the priest replied, "That's okay, my son. I got him with the door."

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Train

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context