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What's Your Name?

It was the first day of the school year and the first grade teacher was asking her students their names. "What's your name?" she asked a little girl in the front row.
"Happy Butt," the little girl cheerfully replied.

"Honey, I don't think that's your name. I'd like you to go to the principal's office to get this straightened out," said the teacher.

So, the little girl went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?"

"Happy Butt," she answered.

The principal phoned the little girl's mother to get this cleared up once and for all.

As soon as he hung up the phone, he looked at the litte girl and said, "Your name is Gladys, dear, not Happy Butt."

"Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference?" exclaimed the little girl.

by (few years ago!) / 658 views
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St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!"

St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case.

After investigating, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that there is no mistake my son...

We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to your clients, and according to that, you're at least 108 years old

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Old man OMalley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasnt paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned.The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow OMalley of her old mans death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "Im sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned."She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?""Knowing Brian OMalley as well as I did, I dont think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the mens room."

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Don't give us a bad name

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

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No More Blonde Jokes at Heigl’s Expense

In the pilot episode of Grey's Anatomy, Dr. Izzie Stevens begs to be taken seriously as a doctor, not stereotyped as just a hot blonde.

She eventually earned respect — and the actress who portrays her, Katherine Heigl, won the same battle with her performances at season's end.

At the end of Season Two, a heartbreaking story line in which transplant patient and Izzie love interest Denny Duquette (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) dies has given Heigl the status she has sought to attain as a proven actress.

"For me in this industry, I think it helped people to see me as more than just a face or a body, which was very gratifying. I have waited probably my entire career to do something more with what I have than just what people expect," Heigl told the New York Daily News.

The 27-year-old actress and model previously starred on the WB's Roswell, and has nearly a dozen film credits to her name. But the emotional scenes on Grey's Anatomy, especially the climactic one in which Izzie arrived to see Denny after his successful heart transplant only to find he had died from medical complications, took her to another level.

The powerful scene came from a real place, Heigl said. Her older brother died when she was seven, and the Connecticut native used those memories, and her family's stories, to capture what she imagined Izzie's emotional response would be.

"He was 15. A week from his 16th birthday, and he was in a car accident," Katherine said. "It's one of those things that pretty much devastates an entire family for years and years, and then it changes the entire dynamic for the rest of your life… Everything is different forever now. But I have an amazing family, and I think that we have lived with it gracefully."

by (few years ago!)
The Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hollowed be thy drink.
I will be drunk,
At home as in the travern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangerovers.
For thine is the beer. he bitter and The lager
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

by (few years ago!)
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